Museum Floor Plan in 1998 and 2008

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Clean text

Answer · 150 words · 4 paragraphs · 10 comments

Comments

SuggestedTA

Describe a changed layout rather than new construction

Applies to: Paragraph 1
Suggestion: The diagrams compare the layout of a museum in 1998 and 2008, before and after renovations.
Why: The diagrams show two arrangements of the same museum. New construction can imply a newly built museum, whereas the task concerns changes to its layout.

Must fixTA

State the main changes in the overview

Applies to: Paragraph 2
Suggestion: Overall, the museum replaced its western permanent exhibition rooms with visitor facilities, expanded the eastern exhibition area and added a restaurant, café seating and fountains.
Why: The overview lists facilities vaguely instead of identifying the main changes. There is only one restaurant, café and shop in the 2008 plan. Name the western replacement, eastern expansion and new amenities to give the reader a clear overall picture.

Must fixTA

Correct the restaurant’s direction

Original: northeastern
Replace with: northwestern
Why: There was no restaurant anywhere in 1998, so the absence itself is true. However, this contrast suggests that the restaurant was introduced in the northeastern corner. Use northwestern to align the comparison with its actual top-left position in 2008.

Must fixTA

Distinguish relocation from addition

Original: an addition of a temporary exhibition room
Replace with: the relocation of the temporary exhibition room
Why: A temporary exhibition room already existed in 1998. In 2008 it moved from the bottom-left to the middle-left, so it was relocated rather than added.

Must fixGRA

Use in for an area

Original: at the southwestern part
Replace with: in the southwestern part
Why: Use in when locating a room within a part of a building. At is better suited to a point or a specific position such as at the entrance.

Must fixTA

Report the existing facilities being moved

Applies to: Paragraph 3
Suggestion: By 2008, the shop and bags-and-coats area had been relocated to the southwestern part of the museum.
Why: Both the shop and bags-and-coats area appear in the 1998 plan, on the southeastern side. The 2008 plan moves them to the southwest; it does not create them for the first time.

Must fixGRA

Remove the dangling construction modifier

Original: in constructing the 2008 museum
Replace with: in the 2008 layout
Why: An introductory phrase beginning in constructing normally shares its implied subject with the following clause. Here that subject is the central part, which cannot construct a museum. A time-and-layout phrase avoids this illogical connection.

Must fixLR

Reverse the containment relationship

Original: the central part now occupies
Replace with: the central part contained
Why: An area contains a garden and other facilities; it does not occupy them. Contained also keeps the description of 2008 in the past tense.

Must fixTA

Separate the retained entrance from changed exhibitions

Applies to: Paragraph 4
Suggestion: The ticket entrance remained in the same position, while the western permanent exhibition rooms were replaced and the eastern ones expanded southwards.
Why: The ticket entrance/exit stayed at the bottom centre, but the permanent exhibition rooms did not remain unchanged: the western rooms disappeared and the eastern area extended into the southeast.

SuggestedTA

Account for the northern facilities

Applies to: Paragraph 4
Suggestion: Describe the northern facilities: the café remained on the northern edge, between the new restaurant and the WC in 2008, while the WC had moved from the southeastern corner.
Why: The paragraph describes the garden additions but omits the northern arrangement and the WC relocation. The café was on the northern edge in both years; the important comparison is its 2008 relationship to the restaurant and relocated WC.

Score details

Response 01

Estimated band7.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The response uses clear paragraphs and reasonably varied sentence structures to describe several changes. However, its overview lists facilities without identifying the main pattern. The restaurant comparison points to the wrong corner, existing shop and cloakroom facilities are described as newly created, and the permanent exhibition rooms are incorrectly said to be unchanged. The relocation of the WC is omitted. More precise comparisons and clearer wording about what each area contains would improve the account.

Task Achievement

The response reports several visible changes, but the overview does not identify the main replacements and expansion. The restaurant comparison refers to the northeastern rather than northwestern corner; the shop, bags-and-coats area and temporary exhibition room are treated as additions although they were relocated. The permanent exhibition rooms changed substantially, and the WC relocation is omitted.

6.0

Coherence and Cohesion

Separate paragraphs give the description a recognisable structure, but some linking is loose. Again introduces a new location rather than a repeated point, and the long restaurant sentence combines an absence, an addition and a relocation without clearly locating the moved room. More direct links between each original position and its 2008 counterpart would improve progression.

7.0

Lexical Resource

The response uses relevant terms such as layout, renovations and temporary exhibition room. However, the overview ends with the vague phrase and so on, and occupies reverses the intended containment relationship: the central area contains the garden and other features. Created also misrepresents facilities that already existed and were moved.

7.0

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The response attempts varied structures, including inversion, a relative clause and a semicolon linking contrasting clauses. Control is generally understandable, but in constructing the 2008 museum has an illogical implied subject, and at the southwestern part should be in the southwestern part. These points need correction even though the intended meaning can usually be recovered.

7.0

What to work on next

Verify each location and change directly against the diagrams before writing, so that compass directions and newly added versus existing facilities are reported accurately.

Response 02

Must fixSuggested

Clean text

Answer · 198 words · 4 paragraphs · 9 comments

Comments

Must fixTA

Distinguish new facilities from relocated ones

Original: public restrooms and decorative fountains
Replace with: decorative fountains
Why: A WC appears in both plans: it moves from the bottom-right to beside the café. It should not be listed as a newly added amenity.

SuggestedLR

Use a precise spatial verb

Original: flanked to the north
Replace with: bordered to the north
Why: Flanked normally describes something positioned at the sides. Here the café is directly above the garden, so bordered describes the relationship more precisely.

Must fixTA

Locate the café accurately

Original: a café in the centre
Replace with: a café at the upper centre
Why: The café is on the top edge between the restaurant and WC, rather than in the central garden area.

Must fixTA

Avoid an unsupported feature

Original: a sheltered café seating area
Replace with: a café seating area
Why: The plan labels a café sitting area but gives no indication of a roof or shelter. Report the labelled function without adding a construction detail.

SuggestedTA

Specify the seating area’s position

Original: in the middle
Replace with: in the northwestern part of the garden
Why: The seating area occupies the upper-left portion of the garden. This location distinguishes it from the garden as a whole.

Must fixGRA

Join the two independent clauses

Applies to: Paragraph 4
Suggestion: The central garden was enhanced with fountains, and the southern part saw a rearrangement of facilities: the shop and bags and coats area were relocated to the bottom-left, alongside the ticket entrance.
Why: The clauses beginning The central garden and the lower level each have their own subject and verb. A comma alone cannot join them; add and or use a full stop. Southern part also describes a plan more clearly than lower level, which can suggest a different storey.

SuggestedTA

Compare the use of garden space

Applies to: Paragraph 4
Suggestion: Explain that part of the former garden area was allocated to café seating, while the remaining garden gained fountains. Do not infer a reduction in the outer garden footprint from these unscaled plans.
Why: The seating boundary shows a change in how the central area was used. This comparison develops the account beyond listing amenities; the plans do not establish a measured reduction in the outer garden footprint.

SuggestedTA

Complete the comparison of the eastern and southern areas

Applies to: Paragraph 4
Suggestion: Describe the eastern permanent exhibition rooms extending into the former southeastern shop, WC and bags-and-coats space. Also distinguish the ticket entrance/exit, which stayed in its southern central position, from the relocated facilities.
Why: The 2008 description covers the western replacement and moved visitor facilities, but leaves the substantial eastern exhibition expansion and the retained entrance position implicit.

SuggestedTA

Separate replacement areas from retained facilities

Applies to: Paragraph 4
Suggestion: Clarify that the restaurant and relocated temporary exhibition room replaced the western galleries. Describe the café separately as remaining on the northern edge, with the relocated WC beside it.
Why: The opening sentence groups the café with facilities replacing the western galleries. A café already occupied the northern edge in 1998; the 2008 western area is occupied by the restaurant and temporary exhibition room. Separating these relationships makes the comparison accurate.

Score details

Response 02

Estimated band7.5/ 9

Overall assessment

The response has a clear overview and a logical year-by-year structure, with detailed descriptions and varied language. Some factual wording needs correction: the WC was relocated rather than added, the café was on the northern edge, and the seating area is not shown as sheltered. The eastern exhibition expansion is omitted. The final sentence also joins two independent clauses with a comma. The shop’s position beside the entrance is supported by the plan.

Task Achievement

The response describes both years and identifies the replacement of western galleries with visitor facilities. However, the WC is presented as newly added despite appearing in both plans, the café is placed too centrally, and shelter is inferred without evidence. The eastern exhibition expansion is omitted; the shop’s adjacency to the entrance is correctly reported.

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

Ideas progress logically through a clear overview followed by systematic year-by-year descriptions, with effective use of cohesive devices like flanking phrases and directional references.

7.0

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary is varied and generally effective for a map description, including terms such as layout, comprised and relocated. Some spatial expressions could be more precise: flanked normally suggests placement at the sides, while lower level can suggest a separate storey rather than the bottom of a plan.

8.0

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The response uses varied structures, including participle clauses, passive constructions and locative phrasing, with generally good control. The final sentence contains a comma splice between two independent clauses; a conjunction or full stop is needed to connect the garden description and the rearrangement of southern facilities.

8.0

What to work on next

Separate additions from relocations, report only features shown by the plans, and include the eastern exhibition expansion. Check sentence boundaries so that independent clauses are joined with a conjunction or separated by a full stop.

Key features: Museum Floor Plan in 1998 and 2008

Overview

Key changes

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Score details

Overall assessment

Task Achievement

Coherence and Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

What to work on next

Response 02

Score details

Overall assessment

Task Achievement

Coherence and Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

What to work on next

Useful vocabulary: Museum Floor Plan in 1998 and 2008

temporary exhibition room

permanent exhibition rooms

make way for

storage for bags and coats

Sentence patterns: Museum Floor Plan in 1998 and 2008

Write your response

temporary exhibition room

permanent exhibition rooms

make way for

storage for bags and coats

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