Safe Alternatives to Fossil Fuels as a Global Priority

The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

9 correction notes

Showing 9 correction notes.

The world is getting affected by the extensive consumption of conventional fuels. The abundance of traditional energy sources is making some nations wealthy but at the cost of putting their environment at risk. So, I believe alternative sources of energy must be the first preference of .

First off, in the absence of clean energy sources, the whole world would be at risk. In other words, when traditional fuels are used, these create toxic gases; resultantly, the environment gets polluted, and the life of its inhabitants is also in danger. To exemplify it, if anyone nation is experiencing environmental hazards, it will not affect its neighbouring countries. Therefore, if all countries work together to combat this problem, from swallowing pollution .

What’s more, cleaner energy sources such as biofuels, solar energy, wind energy as well as nuclear energy do not cause such energy destruction as has been done by using fossil fuels. There is negligible human loss, and these sources keep the environment non-toxic in comparison with petrol or diesel. Moving further, when the cost of these conventional fuels rises, suffer because they are directly or indirectly linked with each other in terms of trade and commerce, foreign aid, . Thus, one motto for can lead them on the way to progress.

To conclude, thus, it is apparent that for the survival of the human species on this planet, to find out non-renewable sources other than conventional fuels. Only then the world will be the safest place for all organisms on the earth.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response clearly supports prioritising alternative energy and offers relevant ideas about pollution and international interdependence. Frequent grammatical errors and imprecise phrases sometimes obscure those ideas. The conclusion also needs clarification of which alternatives it recommends, since the body includes both renewable sources and nuclear energy while the final wording refers only to non-renewable sources.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.0

The response supports giving alternative energy top priority and discusses environmental risks and economic interdependence. Some explanations remain underdeveloped, and the conclusion narrows the focus to non-renewable alternatives without explaining how that relates to the renewable sources discussed earlier.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

Progression is broadly clear with paragraphing and linking devices such as first off and what's more, but several sentences are mechanically joined or loosely connected, reducing overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

6.0

There is adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including biofuels, solar energy and toxic gases, but awkward and imprecise phrasing such as swallowing pollution and energy destruction limits precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, yet frequent errors in articles, agreement and sentence construction, such as needs first priority of the world, obscure meaning in places.