Making Sugary Food and Drink Products More Expensive

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

4 correction notes

Showing 4 correction notes.

Many processed contain excessive amounts of sugar, contributing to various health issues, such as obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. Some argue that increasing the price of sugary products would encourage people to ultimately leading to a healthier society. I strongly agree with this view, as it could influence consumer behavior and reduce the burden on healthcare systems.

Firstly, making sugary products more expensive would discourage people from purchasing them frequently. When prices rise, consumers, especially those on tight budgets, are likely to reconsider their choices and opt for healthier alternatives. For example, in countries where sugar taxes have been implemented, such as Mexico and the United Kingdom, there has been a noticeable decline in soft drink consumption. This suggests that can be effective in shaping healthier eating habits.

Secondly, taxing sugary products would generate government revenue, which could be used to fund public health initiatives. This money could support awareness campaigns about the risks of excessive sugar intake and promote healthier dietary habits. In addition, these funds could be allocated to improve healthcare facilities and treatment options for those already suffering from sugar-related diseases.

In conclusion, increasing the cost of sugary products is an effective strategy to reduce and improve public health. Higher prices can encourage healthier choices while also providing additional resources for healthcare and education. Therefore, governments should consider implementing sugar taxes as part of their strategy to combat diet-related diseases.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.5

The strongest aspect is the clear, consistent position supported by two well-developed arguments and relevant real-world examples such as sugar taxes in Mexico and the UK. The main limitation is the slightly short length and a somewhat formulaic argument structure that relies on predictable reasoning rather than deeper analysis of counterarguments.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.5

The response presents a clear position of strong agreement, develops two main ideas with relevant supporting examples, and reaches a consistent conclusion, though it falls 7 words short of the minimum length and lacks engagement with opposing perspectives.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.5

Ideas progress logically through clearly signposted paragraphs with effective use of cohesive devices, although the organisation is somewhat mechanical and linkers like firstly and secondly are used conventionally.

Lexical Resource

7.5

Vocabulary is appropriately varied and precise for the topic, featuring terms like consumer behavior, healthcare burden, and dietary habits, with only mild repetition of phrases such as sugary products.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.5

A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, including conditional and relative clauses, with errors being rare and non-impeding throughout.