Making Sugary Food and Drink Products More Expensive

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

13 correction notes

Showing 13 correction notes.

Sugary foods and drinks are detrimental to health, so many suggest increasing their price to dissuade many people from purchasing and them. with this opinion. This essay explains the reasons behind my opinion.

To begin with, even if suddenly increases the prices of all sugary products, we will still notice that many people are still buying those products as usual. They will be buying them either because they are just to those sugary products, or a high price does not really curtail their abilities to buy such expensive products. It will, however, negatively affect the prices of the necessary food items, and poor people will suffer to a great extent because it is not only “sugar” that is needed to make sugary products, but rather several other raw materials, such as flour, milk, egg, oil the governments want to increase the price of sugary products, they will not only have to impose a higher tax exclusively on sugar but also on other raw materials.

Another problem with taking such a decision is that some manufacturers of these sugary products would still try to sell them illegally to their existing customers at a lower price, through some or secretly, in order to , because a higher price of their products would almost inevitably push many of their regular customers

A far better solution to this problem would be to make people aware of the consequences of eating and drinking sugary items. When are aware of the issues, they will spontaneously reject sugary items without creating any pressure on the market.

In conclusion, we need to run awareness campaigns to inform people about the negative aspects of eating and drinking sugary items. When they are made aware, it will bring positive results while price hikes on sugary items would make things only worse.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The strongest aspect is the clear, consistent position supported by multiple developed reasons and a workable alternative solution. The main limitation is that some arguments, particularly the claim about raw material taxes, are loosely reasoned, and informal expressions plus recurring grammatical slips reduce precision throughout.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.5

The response presents a clear disagreement, addresses the question with relevant main ideas and an alternative solution, though some arguments are under-analyzed and reasoning is occasionally weak.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

Progression is broadly clear with basic linking devices and paragraphing, but transitions are sometimes mechanical and idea development within paragraphs is uneven.

Lexical Resource

6.0

The response uses an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, but imprecise or informal word choices such as 'intaking' and 'mass people' reduce accuracy and flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A mix of simple and complex structures is used, yet frequent slips such as tense errors, awkward passives, and sentence-initial conjunctions limit accuracy and range.