Making Sugary Food and Drink Products More Expensive

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

7 correction notes

Showing 7 correction notes.

Processed food and most bottled drinks are packed with an excessive amount of sugar. Over-consumption of sugar is related to many deadly diseases and obesity, suggest that if those sugary products are , people, especially those with limited purchasing capacity, would consume less sugar and opt for healthy alternatives. I wholeheartedly disagree with this idea as I believe that this approach is not effective in curbing sugar intake.

To begin with, people do not consume sugary products only because they are cheap. Rather, they love those sugary foods and drinks because they find them tasty, satisfying and addictive. This is perhaps the reason many people in my country enjoy a bottle of soda more than they would enjoy a glass of fresh juice without any sugar in it. Furthermore, increasing the price of sugary items may lead to a situation where low-income people would opt for even lower-quality options. I believe that raising the price of sweet items in the market does not address the root cause of the issue their eating habits. Some eat them as rewards, others as a coping mechanism for stress and depression.

I believe that instead of raising the price of sugary products and imposing a heavy tax on the manufacturers, a more effective approach would be to educate people about the harm of excessive intake of sugar and sugary items. The school curriculum and social campaigns should emphasize how eating healthy can . Promoting healthier food options in schools, office canteens and public places, for example, could be a far better approach.

In conclusion, increasing the price of sugary food for the betterment of public health may seem like a great option on the surface, but it is not impactful. A more effective way would be to educate people and promote healthier food to combat the negative trends of consuming excessive sugary foods and drinks.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response presents a clear disagreement with the pricing proposal and supports it with relevant reasoning, examples, and an alternative solution. Its strongest aspect is the coherent, well-developed argumentation throughout, while the main limitation is the presence of occasional grammatical slips and some slightly generic support in the discussion of alternatives.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The position is clearly stated and consistently maintained, with main ideas such as taste, addiction, and regressive effects developed and supported by an alternative solution, though some support remains general rather than extended.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

The response is logically organised with clear paragraphing and a range of cohesive devices used naturally, although transitions are at times slightly mechanical.

Lexical Resource

7.0

Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible and precise, with natural collocations such as purchasing capacity, coping mechanism, and root cause, alongside only minor imprecision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A variety of complex structures are used with generally good control, though occasional punctuation and clause-linking errors, such as faulty comma placement around linking phrases, are present.