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Women in Employment Rates 2003 to 2009

The line graph below gives information about the percentage of women aged 15-64 in employment between 2003 and 2009.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

1 sample answer, estimated Band 7.0. Your turn?

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From essays on this question

Key features: Women in Employment Rates 2003 to 2009

WhyThis is aLine graph — it asks you to report the main trends and changes over time.

SoWe split the points intoOverview(the main trends over the period)andKey features(figures and comparisons worth reporting).

Overview

2 points

Key features

4 points

Same question · Different responses

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Answer · 163 words · 4 paragraphs · 10 comments

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band7.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The response covers all five countries, organises its comparisons clearly and uses broadly supported figures. It correctly identifies Iceland as the highest throughout, but the overview inaccurately groups Turkey with countries showing an overall increase. The main improvements are to distinguish Turkey’s fall and recovery, clarify paired numerical changes and correct a few grammatical and punctuation slips.

TA

Task Achievement

The response covers all five countries, identifies Iceland as the highest throughout and supplies broadly supported figures. However, the overview incorrectly groups Turkey with the countries showing an overall rise. The final paragraph recognises its fall and recovery, while Chile’s final figure could make the comparison more explicit.

7.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

Ideas progress logically from overview to detailed comparison, and cohesive devices such as 'compared to' and 'whereas' are used appropriately, though some referencing and sequencing feel slightly mechanical.

7.0
LR

Lexical Resource

The response uses a varied range of trend expressions, including “slight fall”, “rises” and “recovered”. Some wording could be more precise: “small rises” would avoid the possible implication of statistical significance, and “respectively” would map the two changes more clearly than “in turn”.

7.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

A range of structures is used, including complex comparisons and contrasting clauses with “while” and “whereas”. Errors such as “between 15 to 64” and the comma in “the rate of employment in Turkey, recovered” are minor and do not impede meaning.

7.0

What to work on next

Separate Turkey’s fall and recovery from the three rising trends in the overview. State changes in rates as percentage points and use “respectively” to match Canada and Germany to their changes. Check “between … and …” and remove the comma between Turkey’s employment rate and “recovered”.

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Task 1 Academic question loaded.
Part 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words.

Words: 020:00 starts on first word