US Jobs in Four Economic Sectors 1960-2020

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

5 sample answers, estimated Band 5.0–8.0. Your turn?

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From essays on this question

Key features: US Jobs in Four Economic Sectors 1960-2020

WhyThis is aLine graph — it asks you to report the main trends and changes over time.

SoWe split the points intoOverview(the main trends over the period)andKey features(figures and comparisons worth reporting).

Overview

4 points

Key features

6 points

Same question · Different responses

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Answer · 157 words · 4 paragraphs · 23 comments

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band5.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The response identifies the main trends and attempts to group sectors by direction, which is its strongest aspect. However, it contains several inaccurate figures, such as agriculture and healthcare both being reported at 0.3 million, and frequent spelling and grammar errors that obscure meaning at times. The progression is partly clear but relies on mechanical linking devices.

TA

Task Achievement

An overview of contrasting trends is present and the response covers all four sectors, but key figures are inaccurately reported, including agriculture falling to about 3 million and healthcare rising from about 2 million being misstated as 0.3 million.

5.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

Progression is broadly followable and the sectors are grouped by trend, but linking is mechanical, with repeated sequencing markers such as 'Following that', 'Finally' and 'Lastly'. The malformed opening 'As can be seen that' also disrupts the flow.

5.0
LR

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary is adequate for the data but limited and at times inaccurate, with errors such as percentage of works, steps of the economy, and repeated misspellings like economny and Respectivily.

5.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Sentence structures are attempted but errors are frequent, including missing articles, incorrect verb forms such as was droped, inconsistent capitalisation, and faulty number agreement.

5.0

What to work on next

Verify all reported figures against the chart, since several values do not match the visual data, and proofread spelling and grammar before finalising.

From essays on this question

Useful vocabulary: US Jobs in Four Economic Sectors 1960-2020

From essays on this question

Sentence patterns: US Jobs in Four Economic Sectors 1960-2020

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Part 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words.

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