The response identifies the main country and gender comparisons and correctly describes the broad trends and exceptions. Its plotted values are defensible estimates. The overview could also state the general rise over time, and selected 2008 figures would strengthen the detail.
8.0Ideas progress logically through an overview followed by male and then female data, with effective use of referencing and cohesive devices like 'respectively' and 'except for' that rarely feel mechanical.
8.0Vocabulary shows useful range in expressions such as “leaving the workforce” and “remained stable”. However, “breakdown on”, “over the chart for women” and “the lowest data” are awkward or unsuitable collocations that reduce lexical precision.
7.0GRAGrammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures, including relative clauses and participle phrases, is used with consistent accuracy and only rare, non-impeding slips.
8.0