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Average Retirement Age in Seven Countries

The charts below show average age of men and women who retired from work in seven countries in 2004 and 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

1 sample answer, estimated Band 8.0. Your turn?

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From essays on this question

Key features: Average Retirement Age in Seven Countries

WhyThis is aBar chart — it asks you to compare the most important categories.

SoWe split the points intoOverview(the biggest differences or patterns)andKey features(figures and comparisons worth reporting).

Overview

2 points

Key features

7 points

Same question · Different responses

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Answer · 203 words · 3 paragraphs · 11 comments

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band8.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The response gives a clear, well-organised summary of the main country and gender differences, with trends and exceptions that match the charts. The numerical readings are reasonable estimates from the bars. Its main weaknesses are a few awkward collocations and limited numerical support for 2008. Adding the general upward trend to the overview would make the summary more complete.

TA

Task Achievement

The response identifies the main country and gender comparisons and correctly describes the broad trends and exceptions. Its plotted values are defensible estimates. The overview could also state the general rise over time, and selected 2008 figures would strengthen the detail.

8.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

Ideas progress logically through an overview followed by male and then female data, with effective use of referencing and cohesive devices like 'respectively' and 'except for' that rarely feel mechanical.

8.0
LR

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary shows useful range in expressions such as “leaving the workforce” and “remained stable”. However, “breakdown on”, “over the chart for women” and “the lowest data” are awkward or unsuitable collocations that reduce lexical precision.

7.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

A wide range of complex structures, including relative clauses and participle phrases, is used with consistent accuracy and only rare, non-impeding slips.

8.0

What to work on next

Add the general rise over time to the overview and support the 2008 discussion with selected endpoint values. Refine collocations such as “breakdown on”, “over the chart for women” and “the lowest data”.

From essays on this question

Useful vocabulary: Average Retirement Age in Seven Countries

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Part 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words.

Words: 020:00 starts on first word