It is certainly true that today more TV and movie personalities are better known for their glamorous look and wealth . This will probably have a negative impact on gullible young individuals . The primary reason to agree with this statement is that minors are gullible. They are easily who they watch or even in advertisements. For instance, and TV and movie superstar, Ms. is the most admired , and at the same time in the country. She came from a very powerful political family, but she uses her wealth for the sake of glamour through liposuction and expensive branded products such as Louis Vuitton, Chanel and Hermes. This will perhaps affect in a negative way because she is actually showing that it is alright to spend too much . On the other hand, not all young ones are credulous; most of them are critical thinkers. So they are not to of TV and commercial stars but to . For example, the international boxer figure, Emmanuel "Manny" Pacquiao who was then a typical Filipino poor man, and became an extremely wealthy boxing man because of his undeniably perseverance and dedication. These are the qualities some youths in the Philippines are trying to , I think that in my country, there are more discerning younger people than unwise ones. So they are not easily affected by just the celebrities' beautiful aura and wealth. They know which one to be emulated and that is the figure's good qualities.
Sample response & feedback
Celebrity Glamour, Wealth, and Impact on Youth
Question
Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Annotated response
23 correction notes
Overall assessment
Why this response received Band 6.0
The strongest aspect is the response's clear, relevant position supported by extended Filipino examples of both harmful and admirable celebrities. The main limitation is the high frequency of grammatical and word-choice errors, which sometimes strain clarity, along with underdeveloped reasoning about why young people are influenced.
IELTS criteria
How each score was decided
TR Task Response
6.0The response addresses the task with a clear qualified position and relevant extended examples, but ideas are sometimes underdeveloped and the claim that critical-thinking teenagers prevail is asserted rather than fully supported.
CC Coherence and Cohesion
6.0The argument moves from harmful influence to positive role models and a conclusion, using recognisable linking phrases. However, the entire response is a single paragraph, and the final example runs directly into the conclusion without sentence-ending punctuation.
LR Lexical Resource
6.0Vocabulary is adequate for the argument with some attempts at less common items such as 'credulous' and 'discerning', but there are noticeable word-choice errors like 'taken into', 'allurement', and 'wisely enough'.
GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6.0Simple and complex structures are attempted, but errors in prepositions, adjective forms and clause construction reduce accuracy. Examples include impact ... but not for, are wisely enough, and the incomplete sentence beginning For example, the international boxer figure.