Mass media enabled inviting fame to those who have a commanding presence and dominant influence, best of whom are celebrities. People follow their leads as their graceful lives set bars for glory, far less than their own achievements. As this needs , I think it shall take a while for this concern to be addressed. Marked by their elusive beauties, celebrities hail in all forms of media; thus, people only see their outer sophistication. Nonetheless, their achievements are commonly left unnoticed. This is mainly due to idolatry where beauty is considered an investment. Hence, in today's era, a person need someone to look up to and is perfect enough to stand out among the rest. This notion is even exacerbated by the media, to which they preserve one's outer elements as priorities. For instance, celebrities whose commanding influence . This is quite hard to control since creativity is companies' best shot. Notwithstanding the attention that artists' glamour and richness are getting, this creates a notion to people's mind to achieve something rather than to stay mediocre and plebeian. However, the point of losing one’s sight towards achievements is getting into trouble. This create a bad impact to our society since people no longer feel the hunger to do the best in their own fields instead, they want to become gorgeous, rather than a winner, because it is perceived as a trend way more than the other. By and large, I think it has both . Albeit the fact that one is given more importance than the other, still, people consider a point of reference for standards. The drawbacks may outweigh the good points, I believe that general trends be acknowledged on their own.
Sample response & feedback
Celebrity Glamour, Wealth, and Impact on Youth
Question
Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Annotated response
18 correction notes
Overall assessment
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response attempts to address the prompt and includes some relevant ideas about media emphasis on glamour, but the position remains muddled and the argument drifts, at times contradicting itself. The strongest aspect is the use of ambitious vocabulary, while the main limitation is that both the argument and the grammar frequently obscure meaning.
IELTS criteria
How each score was decided
TR Task Response
5.0The topic is addressed only partially because the position is vague and the response drifts into contradictory claims, including a conclusion that pivots to balance rather than a clear degree of agreement.
CC Coherence and Cohesion
5.0The essay remains one paragraph, making its introduction, supporting arguments and conclusion difficult to distinguish. Connectives such as “Hence” and “Notwithstanding” do not consistently clarify the relationships between ideas.
LR Lexical Resource
6.0There is a noticeable range of less common vocabulary such as 'idolatry', 'exacerbated', and 'plebeian', though frequent imprecise word choice like 'hail', 'elusive beauties', and 'inviting fame' reduces precision.
GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5.0A variety of complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, article use, and sentence construction, such as 'a person need someone' and 'this create a bad impact', often impede clarity.