Music Bringing Different Cultures and Ages Together

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Annotated response

5 correction notes

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Music has been considered a good way to relax someone, and it also unites the people whether they belong to a different culture . I completely agree with the above-mentioned statement as music has no religion or caste. It entertains all and sundry.

To commence with, music is a good therapy to reduce the burden and unite the people. Now people are more modern, and having sympathy for others make them lovable all over the places. The whole credit goes to music, which makes people laugh and establish good relationships among the people. Now people don’t only listen to the music of their country or culture , but they do like Western music too. Thus, appreciating harmony all over the world. For instance, ‘Farmers agitation’ is a moot issue nowadays, and many renowned singers have sung songs on this burning issue. Recently, on music has also picked up this issue. has sung a song in a foreign language over this debatable issue. Thus, it shows that music makes people understand other cultures or country’s obstacles and makes people aware of those issues.

Furthermore, music is not only the choice of youngsters, but it is also a preference of all age groups. Youngsters like classical, folk and jazz music, while oldsters are not less than young blood. They also love to listen to the same for rejuvenating themselves. Thus, it assists in mitigating the generation gap and strengthening mutual understanding between individuals as it is ever said that old is gold, so classical songs or music have always been the first choice of all the masses. Music is untold emotions that people understand without making them understand its meaning. Thus it brings varied cultures or different age groups together.

In conclusion, music has a great hand in setting up peace in the world. People from all corners of the world love to listen to all types of music, which is soothing and makes them stress-free. Through music, people know about other cultures and establish good with them.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response presents a clear position and addresses both cultural and generational dimensions of the prompt with relevant if loosely developed examples. Its main limitation is imprecise, sometimes awkward phrasing and mechanical linking that weaken the clarity and persuasiveness of otherwise well-organised ideas.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.5

The position of complete agreement is clear and maintained, both cultures and ages are covered with relevant examples, but ideas remain somewhat underdeveloped and the example about the farmers' agitation is only loosely connected to cross-cultural unity.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

Progression through an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is clear, yet cohesion is mechanical with formulaic linkers and occasional illogical connections between sentences.

Lexical Resource

6.0

There is adequate range with some idiomatic attempts, but frequent awkward or inaccurate collocations such as 'unites the people', 'oldsters', and 'establish good bands' reduce precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A mix of simple and complex structures is used with generally clear meaning, though recurring grammatical errors such as 'having different age groups' and 'having sympathy for others make them lovable' are noticeable.