Music Bringing Different Cultures and Ages Together

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Annotated response

3 correction notes

Showing 3 correction notes.

Music can stimulate our minds and bodies and also offer some temporary relief from mental agony and sadness. Music probably can do many other things, but it can not bring people of different cultures and ages together. This essay will explain why we can not rely on music to accomplish such a difficult task.

Music has some elements and qualities to bring some like-minded people within, not outside of a certain culture, country or nation closer together in a common bond because the tone and tune of that music sound so familiar to them. Many music lovers even suggest that music is the food for our soul, regardless of our age. True that may be, but when we are pinning our hopes on music to unite people of different cultures and ages, we are becoming , to say the least, because culture is a very difficult subject to understand and so is “human nature”.

Culture is not only about what we like to listen to, or what we do not for some temporary pleasure or gratification. Rather, culture, among other things, very predominantly is also about “how we are so dissimilar to each other”, and it is essentially this “wish” or “sentiment” that helps us cling to our own ways of life, no matter how “peculiar” or “weird” that may look to other cultures. It is because of this strong “sentiment” that the countries in the continent of South America essentially speak the same language or practice the same religion, they are not merged into only one country. The same applies to different ages as well, and that is why we see, more often than not, that while a young guy likes some heavy rock or heavy metal music, an older person likes a more traditional or classic type of music.

So, from the discussion above, it should be fairly clear to us that music is important for our life, but it is not a good way to bring people of different cultures or ages together.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The strongest aspect is the response's clear, consistent position, supported by a developed argument about cultural attachment and a relevant age-based example. The main limitation is that the reasoning relies on sweeping, debatable generalizations, and occasional awkward phrasing and heavy reliance on quotation marks weaken the precision of the language.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The response presents a clear position throughout, addresses both culture and age, and develops main ideas with explanation and an example, though some claims are generalized rather than fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas progress logically across well-managed paragraphs with a range of cohesive devices, though occasional overuse of quotation marks and slightly loose linking reduce precision.

Lexical Resource

7.0

Vocabulary is generally flexible and natural with some less common items, but occasional awkward collocations such as 'too much optimistic' and imprecise phrasing limit the range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A variety of complex structures, including subordinate and conditional clauses, is used with generally good control, with only minor, non-impeding errors in agreement and article use.