Educating People on Junk Food Health Issues

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Annotated response

2 correction notes

Showing 2 correction notes.

In the modern world, there has been an accelerating trend of people eating unhealthy food, posing harmful threats to their health. While some people regard education as an ineffective measure to resolve the problem. I would contend that this practice would serve as a workable solution to tackling such a situation.

There is a common belief that education would not be an effective method of deterring people from consuming a large amount of junk food. Supporters of this view might argue that the modern lifestyle is the root of this issue, which would not be efficiently addressed by education. For example, there are many intellectual officers in favour of fast food due to its convenience and . Despite their profound nutrition-related knowledge and awareness, these busy consumers opt for fast food for the sake of time-saving. Besides, there are other efficient solutions to curbing junk food consumption. For instance, the government could impose higher taxation schemes on junk food. By raising fast food prices, such a strict legal action could yield immediate and widespread effects on consumer behaviour, thus bringing forth a quicker decline in junk food consumption compared to education.

However, I would strongly endorse education as an effective key to the junk food overconsumption problem. The primary reason is that an appropriate education would efficiently raise eaters’ awareness which may act as a deterrent to people’s opting for unhealthy food. For instance, once people gain insightful knowledge and awareness of life-threatening cancers and diseases caused by overeating fast food, they would be more likely to put an end to such a harmful eating habit. Another supporting reason is that nutrition education programs, compared to other measures such as imposing higher tax, could result in more sustainable awareness and behaviour change among people from all walks of life, especially children and adolescents. These beneficiaries will cultivate a habit of refraining from junk food or restricting such intake.

To sum up, although there are reasonable arguments against education, I firmly believe that educational measures would significantly mitigate junk food consumption and deter the problem from being exacerbated further.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response fully addresses both views and states a clear opinion, with well-developed supporting ideas and a logical four-paragraph structure. Its strongest aspect is the sustained, relevant argumentation; the main limitation is occasional awkward or inaccurate word choice that slightly reduces precision.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The response addresses both perspectives, presents a clear personal position, and develops main ideas with relevant examples and explanation throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas are organised logically across clear paragraphs with generally effective use of cohesive devices and a clear overall progression.

Lexical Resource

7.0

A sufficient range of vocabulary is used with some flexibility and awareness of style, though occasional imprecise collocations and word choices reduce precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, and most sentences are error-free despite some noticeable slips.