Educating People on Junk Food Health Issues

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Annotated response

6 correction notes

Showing 6 correction notes.

In recent times, many scientists believe that fast food consumption is central to various health problems that are difficult to cure. Therefore, a few individuals hold the opinion that education can easily solve this problem; however, others think that imposing law can help curb this issue. The essay below will outline and evaluate the two opposing views of the matter and then assert my own opinion.

To start with, it is essential to impart knowledge to people about the healthier options as they choose their diets. This is predominantly important because a large portion of the population needs to learn about the pros and cons of . Besides this, they must also be aware of the alternatives which do not harm their health. For example, the rapid pace of society is the reason for many to opt for cheaper meals in stores or choose takeaways as they are easier to grab. Thus, the impact of fast food on them is minimal since they can regulate their intake of unhealthy fats.

Nevertheless, companies should be limited in their production of or the government must impose higher taxes on this type of food. The resorting of junk food will be coaxed to the healthier options, perhaps even being motivated to cook at home and shedding some pounds. Furthermore, this kind of food is harmful to their health as they will suffer from poor health issues like . This eventually leads them to stay indoors instead of engaging in various outdoor activities.

To conclude, many people prefer fast food as which affects their health . However, I believe that education is particularly important for the younger generation.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure and offers reasons for educating people about food choices, followed by proposals for restrictions and taxes. However, it does not clearly develop the view that education will not work. Some explanations are unclear, and the final emphasis on younger people needs support within the argument.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.0

The response favours education and discusses legal restrictions, but it does not clearly explain why some people think education will fail. The specific preference for educating younger people appears only at the end without explanation, while some supporting ideas lack a clear connection to the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

There is a clear overall structure with linking devices, but progression within paragraphs is sometimes illogical and connections between sentences occasionally break down.

Lexical Resource

6.0

An adequate range of vocabulary is used with some attempt at less common items, though awkward or inaccurate collocations such as 'comfort food' and 'coaxed to the healthier options' reduce precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is attempted with generally adequate accuracy, but errors in articles, word choice, and clause structure occasionally impede clarity.