Educating People on Junk Food Health Issues

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Annotated response

5 correction notes

Showing 5 correction notes.

Today, individuals believe that consumption of junk food has resulted in several negative health issues. With this increase, many people opine that educating the public could resolve the issue easily, while others are against this notion. The subsequent essay will present both arguments regarding this situation and .

Educating people about healthier fat options and diets is a must in today’s time as these would involve learning about the pros and cons of fast food. This would make an individual become aware of the health problem that follows the consumption of this food such as being overweight. For example, with the fast-paced development of society, the population is getting busy and thus it has become more convenient to buy takeaway food. Due to this, people are being affected in terms of many health problems.

education can help in effectively mitigating the problem. The fast food industry has to be reduced in the amount of produce it offers. Gradually, the consumption of junk food would be reduced as they become aware of the consequences. Besides, people can also participate in various outdoor activities which can rejuvenate them. As a result, they can not only focus on their physical health but also mental health. In addition to that, the government should also increase the taxes on fast food which will compel individuals to

To conclude, the consumption of fast foods in the global market is very high due to their easy accessibility and quick preparation service. To curb this issue, one should be made aware of the advantages and disadvantages of such food items along with imposing high taxes on them by the government.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response supports education and includes relevant ideas about awareness of health risks. However, the opposing view is not clearly explained: the paragraph introduced by "However" again endorses education before moving to other measures. This weak distinction between viewpoints limits task coverage and progression, despite generally understandable language.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.0

The response supports education and proposes additional measures, but it does not adequately explain the view that education will not work. Some material about activities and industry output also lacks a clear connection to that opposing argument, leaving the discussion only partially developed.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

The paragraphs have recognisable topics, but some links do not express the relationship between ideas accurately. "However" introduces another claim in favour of education, repeating rather than contrasting the preceding argument. The movement into other measures also needs clearer connections.

Lexical Resource

6.0

Vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriately topical, with phrases like 'mitigating the problem' and 'easy accessibility', though some expressions are imprecise or awkward, such as 'elaborate the respective meanings' and 'the amount of produce it offers'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5

A reasonable range of structures is attempted, and meaning is mostly clear. Some agreement and sentence-construction errors remain, including "harmful fats which causes many health problems". The plural noun "fats" requires "cause" in that relative clause.