Educating People on Junk Food Health Issues

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Annotated response

4 correction notes

Showing 4 correction notes.

Scientific findings have indicated that the excessive consumption of fast food is . According to some people, this unhealthy practice can be stopped through education; however, some others have little faith in this solution. As the supporters of each view have their own justifications, whether education is effective .

On the one hand, the dangers of unhealthy food can certainly yield some promising outcomes. Firstly, many fast food products provide very little or no information on the nutritional content in them, deterring the consumers from knowing the amount of fat, sodium or cholesterol which they take in. By being informed of how much of these harmful substances are contained in their favourite hamburgers or chips, as well as being shown the likely consequences of over-eating these foods, consumers can be more cautious the next time they choose their food. Secondly, education at schools can help to form healthy eating habits for children and parents. For instance, schools can hold some extracurricular activities such as growing and selling vegetables with the attendance of both students and parents, in order to promote the benefits of healthy diets and warn against the potential risks of junk food.

On the other hand, some people doubt the effectiveness of education for certain reasons. To begin with, despite being aware of the negative effects of fast food, many people who are too busy persist in eating it . In this case, education hardly makes a difference as they have made a choice. In addition, compared with the wide range and availability of fast food stores and menus, healthy food is seriously limited. Furthermore, healthy food is commonly inferior to fast food in terms of taste and prices as a matter of fact. As a result, however convincing education is, it is almost impossible for people to change their eating habits without a ready alternative to their unhealthy food choices.

In conclusion, people have different opinions about whether to support education so as to reduce people’s consumption of fast food. In my opinion, education can be a viable measure with careful consideration of other impediments.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response discusses both views with relevant explanations and examples, then gives a clear qualified opinion supported by the body. Logical organisation and varied vocabulary make the argument easy to follow. Some statements about healthy food being less accessible or attractive than fast food are overgeneralised and would benefit from qualification or more specific support.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

Both views receive relevant development, including examples about awareness and practical barriers to healthier choices. The conclusion gives a clear qualified opinion that education can help if other obstacles are considered. Some claims about the availability, taste and cost of healthy food are broad and need qualification.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas progress logically across well-organised paragraphs with a range of cohesive devices used largely naturally, with only occasional slightly mechanical linking such as Firstly and Secondly.

Lexical Resource

7.5

Vocabulary is flexible and precise, with strong collocations such as excessive consumption, yield promising outcomes and ready alternative, and only minor awkwardness such as the attendance of both students and parents.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A variety of complex structures, including participial phrases and relative clauses, is used with good control, and errors are rare and non-impeding.