Children Spending Hours Daily on Smartphones

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Annotated response

9 correction notes

Showing 9 correction notes.

Many today would argue that children spend too many hours on their smartphones. In my opinion, this is a natural result of the conveniences these phones afford and is decidedly negative as it severely impacts health.

The main reason children are using phones too much view it as a convenient option. This is firstly a simple practicality. Most parents are busy and tired smartphones are one of the easiest methods to keep their children occupied and entertained. It is a common occurrence to witness children on phones at restaurants and airports while their parents are distracted. Moreover, parents can easily justify smartphones by claiming they help their children become better technology. This justification is self-serving, but there is a degree of truth in the fact that young children will be able to understand applications and how to navigate websites like YouTube and .

As far as I am concerned, the overuse of smartphones greatly impairs children physically and mentally. using a smartphone encourages a more sedentary lifestyle. A large proportion of children today are more likely to sit at home after games, chatting, and scrolling through YouTube or TikTok instead of playing outside with friends. Over time, these become ingrained habits and threaten their long-term physical fitness. Intellectually, phones lead to shorter attention spans. , especially applications that have embraced shorter video formats, produce dopamine responses in the brain that then require frequent stimulation. In contrast to a book, children can only gain these feelings from their digital devices.

In conclusion, despite the convenient uses of smartphones, they hinder the physical and intellectual development of children. Parents should limit their children’s screen time.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.0

The response's strongest aspect is its fluent, precise language, with a wide range of vocabulary and varied, largely error-free grammar. Its main limitation is a somewhat narrow development of the causes, which focuses almost entirely on parental convenience and touches only briefly on the children's own motivations.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

8.0

The response directly answers both questions with a clear position and well-developed, relevantly supported ideas, though the explanation of causes is somewhat narrow in scope.

Coherence and Cohesion

8.0

Ideas are logically sequenced across clear paragraphs with skilful use of cohesive devices, and progression throughout is consistently easy to follow.

Lexical Resource

8.0

Vocabulary is flexible and precise, with natural collocations such as sedentary lifestyle, self-serving justification, and ingrained habits, and only negligible lapses.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.0

A wide range of structures, including complex and contrastive sentences, is used with strong accuracy and control, with only rare minor slips.