There has always been a considerable debate over the children should as young as possible or they should spend their time at home playing games until they become seven years old. The main reason why many people favour the opinion that children should spend their time at home until they are seven is that they think younger ages are really important for the brain development and they are afraid of the misguidance possibility of their children. But, unfortunately, this action increases the tendency of becoming an introvert human being later in life. For instance, the childhood spent without friends could lifestyle when the person gets old. On the other hand, a generation that spends their childhood in school most likely will gather more information about their peers. Also, children will have to learn about interaction with other children and this will help them to have priceless memories with their friends. Furthermore, they will get a chance to have been taught limitless education materials or experiences by their teachers who are already aware of how to teach even the most problematic children. In addition, they will learn about cultural and historical information by visiting museums and festivals. Moreover, they don't have to spend their life in front of a computer when they get older because of their already improved communication skills. To summarise all my points that I explained so far, I believe that the benefits of sending children to school as soon as possible undoubtedly the disadvantages which are nearly disregardable.
Advantages of Attending School at a Young Age
Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?
Annotated response
5 correction notes
Overall assessment
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies several relevant advantages of early schooling, including interaction and learning experiences. However, it is written as one continuous paragraph, making the main stages less clear. Some claims about later social behaviour are sweeping, while inaccurate word choices and awkward sentence construction reduce precision.
IELTS criteria
How each score was decided
Task Response
6.5The response addresses the question directly, presents a clear position, and supports several advantages with explanation and examples, though some claims are asserted rather than fully developed.
Coherence and Cohesion
5.5The response moves from the debate to several advantages and a conclusion, but the entire essay is a single paragraph. The main ideas need clearer grouping, and the accumulation of connectors such as Also, Furthermore, In addition and Moreover makes parts of the sequence mechanical.
Lexical Resource
6.0There is sufficient topic vocabulary, but choices such as "enlist to the school" and "overweight the disadvantages" do not express the intended meanings naturally. The uncommon word "disregardable" is understandable; unfamiliarity alone does not make it a lexical error.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6.0A mix of simple and complex structures is used with some flexibility, but frequent errors in verb forms, tense, and phrasing occasionally strain readability.