Teachers vs Parents Influence on Child Development

Once children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

5 sample answers, estimated Band 6.5–8.0. Your turn?

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From essays on this question

Essay ideas: Teachers vs Parents Influence on Child Development

WhyThis is anOpinion essay — it asks whether you agree or disagree with a statement.

SoWe split the ideas intoReasons to agree(supports the statement)andReasons to disagree(argues against it).

Reasons to agree

6 ideas

Reasons to disagree

4 ideas

Same question · Different responses

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Essay · 263 words · 1 paragraph · 11 comments

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band6.5/ 9

Overall assessment

The response presents a clear and consistently maintained position with several relevant supporting ideas, showing the strongest performance in task coverage and organisation. The main limitation is the use of overstated, imprecise, and occasionally inappropriate wording, alongside repeated sweeping claims that weaken the persuasiveness of the argument.

TR

Task Response

The position is clear and consistently developed across relevant main ideas on knowledge, skills, and social interaction, though several claims are overgeneralised and insufficiently supported or illustrated.

6.5
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

Progression is broadly logical with clear paragraphing and sequencing devices, but linking is at times mechanical and some transitions and paragraph boundaries are handled awkwardly.

6.5
LR

Lexical Resource

There is adequate range of less common vocabulary, but noticeable imprecision and poor collocation, such as 'smartness', 'facilitate various conditions', and the offensive and inappropriate use of 'retarded', reduce accuracy and appropriacy.

6.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Complex structures, including cleft sentences, relative clauses and participial constructions, are used with generally good control. The quotation beginning multiple intelligences is not closed, and society.In lacks a separating space. These are specific punctuation and presentation slips rather than a recurring pattern of article or agreement errors.

7.0

What to work on next

Replace exaggerated and inappropriate expressions with precise, appropriately hedged academic vocabulary and support the main claims with more concrete, realistic examples.

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Useful vocabulary: Teachers vs Parents Influence on Child Development

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Sentence patterns: Teachers vs Parents Influence on Child Development

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Part 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.

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