The essay directly addresses the extent-of-agreement question with a clear, consistent position that stricter punishments are effective but not the only solution, supported by relevant examples, though alternative measures receive comparatively thinner development.
7.0Ideas progress logically through a concession-rebuttal structure with effective linking devices such as firstly, furthermore, and this is not to say, with only occasional mechanical cohesion in the second paragraph.
7.0Vocabulary shows good range and precision in topic-related items like deter, deterrent, stringent, and casualties, with some awkward or inaccurate phrasing such as an efficient way and fined with $20.
7.0GRAGrammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, including conditional and concessive forms, but errors in articles and noun phrases recur without impeding meaning.
7.0