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Sharing Personal Information Online for Everyday Activities

Today more people put personal and private information online (address, phone number and credit card number) do everyday activities such as banking, shopping.

Is this a positive or negative development?

1 sample answer, estimated Band 7.0. Your turn?

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From essays on this question

Essay ideas: Sharing Personal Information Online for Everyday Activities

WhyThis is aPositive or negative essay — it asks why a trend is happening and whether it is good or bad.

SoWe split the ideas intoPositive(why it is good)andNegative(why it is bad).

Positive

2 ideas

Negative

3 ideas

Same question · Different responses

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Essay · 299 words · 4 paragraphs · 14 comments

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band7.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The response presents a clear position and develops both sides of the argument with relevant, well-explained support, making its strongest aspect the balanced and extended development of ideas. The main limitation is that some examples remain somewhat generic, and occasional awkward phrasing and grammatical slips appear, though they rarely impede understanding.

TR

Task Response

The response addresses the question directly with a clear stated position that the trend is negative, develops both benefits and risks with explanations and illustrative examples, and reaches a consistent conclusion.

7.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

Ideas progress logically through clear paragraphing and a range of cohesive devices such as 'for example', 'in this sense' and 'however', though some referencing and transitions feel slightly mechanical at points.

7.0
LR

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible and precise, with natural collocations like 'information leakage', 'data mining' and 'phishing attempts', alongside only occasional awkward phrasing such as 'registration of private information'.

7.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, including concessive and relative clauses, while errors such as faulty inversion in 'not only the users will get' and the uncountable noun form 'junk mails' occur but do not impede meaning.

7.0

What to work on next

Strengthen examples with more specific, concrete detail and refine sentence structures such as inversion after 'not only' to raise precision and range.

From essays on this question

Useful vocabulary: Sharing Personal Information Online for Everyday Activities

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Part 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.

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