Restricting Detailed Crime Reports in Media

The essay states strong opposition to restrictions and gives relevant arguments about imitation, anxiety, deterrence and prevention. However, the opening and conclusion also endorse limits, making the extent of agreement unclear. The benefits of reporting need to be linked more directly to the need for detailed descriptions.

Ideas follow a clear concession-and-response structure with separate body paragraphs. Some transitions and references are mechanical, while the unqualified endorsement of limits in the opening and conclusion conflicts with the stated strong opposition and weakens the consistency of the argument.

The essay demonstrates an attempt at less common vocabulary, but several inaccurate or unnatural collocations, such as 'legal violation scenes', 'unsecured society', and 'increasing rate of the number of to-be-culprits', limit precision.

The essay uses varied complex sentences, including relative and concessive clauses, with much of the meaning recoverable. Specific problems include the incomplete “Not to mention that” sentence, its dangling “by televising” phrase, and “follow” without a clear object; “more well-aware” is also awkward.

The essay clearly supports restrictions and develops relevant concerns about victims, public anxiety and imitation. It also acknowledges public-safety benefits and advocates selective limits. The young-people and healing claims need fuller explanation, and the thesis could define more precisely which details should be restricted.

Progression is logical and paragraphs are well organised, though some linking is slightly mechanical and transitions such as 'Not only that' and 'Besides' are a little informal in effect.

Vocabulary is wide and mostly precise, including items like 'voyeuristic', 'instigated and incited', and 'repercussions', with occasional unnatural collocations such as 'the extent to which the media can cover about' and 'inflict their emotional suffering'.

A range of complex structures is used, including concessive clauses and a purpose clause. Most sentences are controlled, but “Increased degree” needs a determiner and “cover about these cases” uses the wrong verb pattern. The coordinated verbs after “can” are correct.