Products and Treatments to Look Younger

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

6 sample answers, estimated Band 5.0–8.0. Your turn?

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From essays on this question

Essay ideas: Products and Treatments to Look Younger

WhyThis is aPositive or negative essay — it asks why a trend is happening and whether it is good or bad.

SoWe split the ideas intoPositive(why it is good)andNegative(why it is bad).

Positive

3 ideas

Negative

5 ideas

Same question · Different responses

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Essay · 254 words · 4 paragraphs · 22 comments

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band5.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The response presents a clear negative position and supports it with a relevant personal example, which is its strongest aspect. However, frequent spelling, grammar, and word-choice errors, along with repetitive and underdeveloped reasoning, regularly obscure meaning and limit the persuasiveness of the argument.

TR

Task Response

The task is addressed with a clear negative position and relevant supporting points and a personal example, but ideas are repetitive, only partly developed, and the conclusion merely restates rather than strengthens the argument.

5.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

There is an overall structure with paragraphs and basic linking devices such as firstly and furthermore, but progression is sometimes confusing, transitions like eventhrough and althrought are misused, and referencing is inconsistent.

5.0
LR

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary range is limited and attempts at less common wording are undermined by frequent spelling and word-form errors such as advertsing, perminent, knowledege, and endup, though meaning is usually recoverable.

5.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Sentence structures are attempted with some complex forms, but frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, tense, articles, and punctuation regularly reduce accuracy and sometimes impede understanding.

4.5

What to work on next

Proofread for spelling and subject-verb agreement errors and develop each main point with clearer explanation rather than repeating the same idea about side effects and cost.

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Useful vocabulary: Products and Treatments to Look Younger

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Sentence patterns: Products and Treatments to Look Younger

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Part 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.

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