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Harm of Handheld Games and Mobile Entertainment

The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individuals and to the society they live in.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

1 sample answer, estimated Band 7.0. Your turn?

Write it first, then read the sample answers and reviews below. You'll see the gap at once.

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From essays on this question

Essay ideas: Harm of Handheld Games and Mobile Entertainment

WhyThis is anOpinion essay — it asks whether you agree or disagree with a statement.

SoWe split the ideas intoReasons to agree(supports the statement)andReasons to disagree(argues against it).

Reasons to agree

4 ideas

Reasons to disagree

2 ideas

Same question · Different responses

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Essay · 299 words · 4 paragraphs · 10 comments

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band7.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The essay develops relevant benefits and drawbacks through clear paragraphs, with effective discussion of stress relief, social connections and health. Its balanced view is apparent, but the degree of agreement with the claim of harm remains implicit. Some claims about productivity and society are broader than the supporting reasoning warrants. Vocabulary and complex grammar are generally well controlled, though the concluding pronoun reference needs clarification.

TR

Task Response

The essay develops relevant benefits and drawbacks for individuals and society, but its degree of agreement remains implicit and some claims extend beyond the supporting explanation.

7.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

Ideas progress logically across well-organised paragraphs with effective linking devices, with only minor mechanical lapses in cohesion.

7.0
LR

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible and precise, using topic-appropriate expressions such as work-related stress and like-minded individuals, with only occasional minor slips.

7.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

A range of complex structures is used with generally good control, and errors are occasional and rarely impede meaning.

7.0

What to work on next

State explicitly how far you agree that handheld entertainment is harmful, and carry that judgment into the conclusion. Qualify broad claims about productivity and society, distinguishing appropriate leisure use from excessive gaming.

From essays on this question

Useful vocabulary: Harm of Handheld Games and Mobile Entertainment

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Part 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.

Words: 040:00 starts on first word