Family vs Outside Influences on Child Development

The essay directly addresses the question with a clear, consistently maintained position, and both main ideas are developed with relevant examples and contrast with family influence.

Ideas progress logically across well-managed paragraphs with effective use of cohesive devices such as 'for example', 'similarly' and 'in contrast', though linking is at times slightly mechanical.

Vocabulary is flexible and topic-appropriate, including “logical thinking” and “analytical skills”, although expressions such as “life-time development” and “the world outside home weighs more than parents” lack precision.

A variety of complex structures, including relative clauses and participial phrases, is used with good control, although a few comma misplacements and minor errors occasionally affect clarity.

The response gives a clear, sustained position and relevant examples of technology and parenting. Some supporting claims are broad, and the argument would be stronger with an explicit explanation of why early family influence outweighs later outside influences.

Paragraphing is clear and cohesive devices are used naturally and flexibly, with logical progression throughout and only occasional mechanical linking.

Vocabulary is flexible and precise, including natural collocations such as psychological development, ubiquity, and well-adjusted, with only very minor lapses.

A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, and grammar and punctuation errors are rare and non-impeding.