Educating People on Junk Food Health Issues

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

5 sample answers, estimated Band 6.0–7.0. Your turn?

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From essays on this question

Essay ideas: Educating People on Junk Food Health Issues

WhyThis is aDiscussion essay — it asks you to discuss two opposing views and give your own.

SoWe split the ideas intoFirst view(supports the first view)andSecond view(supports the second view).

First view

4 ideas

Second view

7 ideas

Same question · Different responses

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Essay · 286 words · 4 paragraphs · 12 comments

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band6.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The response supports education and includes relevant ideas about awareness of health risks. However, the opposing view is not clearly explained: the paragraph introduced by "However" again endorses education before moving to other measures. This weak distinction between viewpoints limits task coverage and progression, despite generally understandable language.

TR

Task Response

The response supports education and proposes additional measures, but it does not adequately explain the view that education will not work. Some material about activities and industry output also lacks a clear connection to that opposing argument, leaving the discussion only partially developed.

6.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

The paragraphs have recognisable topics, but some links do not express the relationship between ideas accurately. "However" introduces another claim in favour of education, repeating rather than contrasting the preceding argument. The movement into other measures also needs clearer connections.

6.0
LR

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriately topical, with phrases like 'mitigating the problem' and 'easy accessibility', though some expressions are imprecise or awkward, such as 'elaborate the respective meanings' and 'the amount of produce it offers'.

6.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

A reasonable range of structures is attempted, and meaning is mostly clear. Some agreement and sentence-construction errors remain, including "harmful fats which causes many health problems". The plural noun "fats" requires "cause" in that relative clause.

6.5

What to work on next

Clarify the opposing argument by explicitly explaining why some people think education alone will not change behaviour, and keep each paragraph consistent with one viewpoint.

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Useful vocabulary: Educating People on Junk Food Health Issues

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Sentence patterns: Educating People on Junk Food Health Issues

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Part 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.

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