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Converting Public Parks into Community Vegetable Gardens

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables.

Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

1 sample answer, estimated Band 8.0. Your turn?

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From essays on this question

Essay ideas: Converting Public Parks into Community Vegetable Gardens

WhyThis is anAdvantages and disadvantages essay — it asks you to weigh the benefits and drawbacks of something.

SoWe split the ideas intoAdvantages(benefits)andDisadvantages(drawbacks).

Advantages

2 ideas

Disadvantages

2 ideas

Same question · Different responses

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Essay · 322 words · 4 paragraphs · 10 comments

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band8.0/ 9

Overall assessment

This is a strong, well-organised response with a clear, consistently maintained position. It explains nutritional and social benefits before discussing the loss of recreational space and problems of management and access. Vocabulary and complex sentences are handled fluently. To strengthen the argument, show more explicitly why the recreational loss outweighs the gardening benefits, and develop the self-sufficiency claim and London illustration beyond their current brief treatment.

TR

Task Response

The response addresses both sides and maintains a clear position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Relevant explanations support the main ideas, although the comparative weighting and the self-sufficiency claim could be developed more explicitly.

8.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

Ideas progress logically across well-managed paragraphs with a wide range of cohesive devices used naturally, including clear referencing and effective conclusions.

8.0
LR

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary is flexible and precise, with natural use of less common items such as 'allotments', 'forge stronger community bonds', and 'far-reaching drawbacks', with only rare minor imprecision.

8.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

A wide range of structures is used accurately, including concessive clauses, relative clauses and participial constructions. Complex sentences are generally well controlled, and there are no conspicuous grammatical errors.

8.0

What to work on next

Explain why losing shared recreational space affects more residents or matters more than the gardening benefits. Then develop the self-sufficiency claim or show how a household’s access to fresh produce could change its diet.

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Useful vocabulary: Converting Public Parks into Community Vegetable Gardens

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Sentence patterns: Converting Public Parks into Community Vegetable Gardens

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Part 2

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