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Children Taking Sports Seriously Versus Playing in Free Time

Some children nowadays take sports seriously while others play sports in their free time.

Is this a positive or negative development?

1 sample answer, estimated Band 8.0. Your turn?

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From essays on this question

Essay ideas: Children Taking Sports Seriously Versus Playing in Free Time

WhyThis is aPositive or negative essay — it asks why a trend is happening and whether it is good or bad.

SoWe split the ideas intoPositive(why it is good).

Positive

4 ideas

Same question · Different responses

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Essay · 313 words · 4 paragraphs · 11 comments

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band8.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The response maintains a clear positive position and develops relevant benefits of both serious and recreational sport. Its broad vocabulary and varied complex sentences show strong language control. Some causal claims need more precise support, particularly the transfer to academic resilience and lifelong exercise habits. Dense phrasing and formulaic linking occasionally reduce clarity, while the conclusion separates benefits that the body presents as overlapping.

TR

Task Response

The response directly answers the question with a clear, consistent positive position and relevant discussion of both forms of participation. Scholarships and park football provide useful illustrations, although the transfer to academic resilience and the prediction of lifelong exercise habits would benefit from more specific support.

8.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

Ideas progress logically across well-structured paragraphs with effective cohesive devices and referencing, though some linking and sequencing patterns feel slightly mechanical.

7.0
LR

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary is broad and often effective, including expressions such as "navigate adversity" and "intrinsic association". Some phrasing is unnecessarily abstract or imprecise: "profound skill mastery" is awkward, and making practice the subject of "accrues vital competitive experience" obscures who gains that experience.

8.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, including relative clauses, varied subordination and participial constructions. Sentences remain grammatically well formed despite their complexity; occasional imprecision concerns wording and reference rather than clear grammatical errors.

8.0

What to work on next

Vary paragraph-level cohesion devices and phrasing beyond set formulae such as 'The first reason for this is that' to achieve a more natural, flexible academic voice.

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Useful vocabulary: Children Taking Sports Seriously Versus Playing in Free Time

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Sentence patterns: Children Taking Sports Seriously Versus Playing in Free Time

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