Children Making Their Own Everyday Choices

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

6 sample answers, estimated Band 6.5–7.0. Your turn?

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From essays on this question

Essay ideas: Children Making Their Own Everyday Choices

WhyThis is aDiscussion essay — it asks you to discuss two opposing views and give your own.

SoWe split the ideas intoFirst view(supports the first view)andSecond view(supports the second view).

First view

2 ideas

Second view

7 ideas

Same question · Different responses

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Essay · 440 words · 4 paragraphs · 12 comments

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band6.5/ 9

Overall assessment

The strongest aspect is the response's complete coverage of both views with a clear personal position on parental guidance, supported by a relevant example about junk food and peer influence. The main limitation is that some ideas are imprecisely expressed and paragraph links are occasionally mechanical, which blurs development at points.

TR

Task Response

The response addresses both views and states a clear opinion that guidance from parents is decisive, with relevant explanation and an example, though some ideas are unevenly developed and the connection between selfishness and decision-making is at times loosely argued.

6.5
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

There is a clear overall progression with paragraphing and linking devices, but cohesion is at times mechanical and transitions such as the shift into the counterargument weaken the logical flow.

6.5
LR

Lexical Resource

The response shows an adequate range of vocabulary with some less common items such as 'impervious' and 'instill a sense of responsibility', though occasional imprecision, such as 'different avenues', reduces accuracy.

6.5
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, but recurring errors in pronoun reference and clause construction, such as 'their needs before others', affect clarity at points.

6.5

What to work on next

Sharpen idea precision and paragraph transitions so that each supporting point is fully developed and clearly connected to the position.

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Useful vocabulary: Children Making Their Own Everyday Choices

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Sentence patterns: Children Making Their Own Everyday Choices

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Part 2

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