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Letter to Introduce Yourself to Your Workplace Mentor

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor – an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

Dear ....................,

1 sample answer, estimated Band 6.0. Your turn?

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Sample answer (1) Letter points (6)

From essays on this question

Letter points: Letter to Introduce Yourself to Your Workplace Mentor

WhyThis is aSemi-formal letter — it asks you to cover every bullet point in a polite, semi-formal tone.

SoWe group the points under each bullet point of the task.

Give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

4 points

Explain what help you hope your mentor can give

1 point

Suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

1 point

Same question · Different responses

Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

Answer · 152 words · 7 paragraphs · 18 comments

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band6.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The letter addresses all three bullet points in a suitably polite tone, which is its main strength. However, the detail is thin and occasionally confused, such as saying the relationship-management skill will be useful to the mentor, and recurring spelling and grammatical slips limit precision throughout.

TA

Task Achievement

The purpose is clear and all three bullet points are addressed, but the outline of studies and experience and the requested help are thinly developed and include a confused detail about skills being useful to the mentor.

6.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

Progression is broadly clear with a logical paragraph order, though some linking within paragraphs is mechanical and a few ideas, such as the transition into the meeting request, are awkwardly connected.

6.0
LR

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the communicative task, with some appropriate workplace phrasing, but errors such as 'inquire information', 'convient', 'appreicate' and 'Best regard' reduce precision.

6.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

A range of structures is attempted, including participle and relative clauses, but recurring errors such as 'Graduated from university of Windsor, a quite good university, I worked' and 'the next Friday' affect accuracy.

6.0

What to work on next

Develop each bullet with fuller, relevant detail and proofread carefully to eliminate spelling and sentence-structure errors before submitting.

Practise this question

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Part 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words.

Words: 020:00 starts on first word