Grange Park Plans in 1920 and Today

4 Sample Responses · Bands 7.0–7.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

The maps illustrate the overall development of Grange park in Arnold avenue staged in two different periods - the first one depicts the park during its inauguration in 1920, and the latter portrays its present-day layout.

Generally speaking, the overall layout of the park has been changed drastically except for the main entrances at Arnold avenue and Eldon Street.

The park first opened in 1920, and it went through drastic developments since then. To begin with, the key feature of the park- the central fountain, has been demolished. The rose garden was earlier scattered around the periphery of the park along with the seating arrangements, but now it has been remobilised to the centre of the park. Meanwhile, the stage for the musicians has been further converted to an "Amphitheatre" for concerts to accommodate a larger crowd. However, the rose garden on the northwest has been retained.

Besides, the glasshouse on the southeast side has been redesigned with a water feature and an underground entrance to the car park for visitors. The addition of amenities such as the cafe on the northeast side adjacent to Arnold avenue was also done. Finally, the pond of water plants was redesigned to accommodate a children’s play area.

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band7.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The response describes the major changes and retains a clear comparison between the original park and its present layout. Its main weaknesses are an overly general overview, occasional ambiguity about which features were replaced, and awkward wording such as remobilised. More precise descriptions of the separate rose gardens and the new facilities would make the account clearer.

TA

Task Achievement

The response covers the key changes (fountain removed, rose garden centralised, stage replaced by an amphitheatre, café, water feature, underground car park, children's play area) with an overview of retained entrances, though a few phrases such as rose gardens being 'scattered around the periphery' are slightly imprecise.

7.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

Ideas progress logically from an overview through systematic changes, with a range of cohesive devices ('to begin with', 'meanwhile', 'besides') used flexibly, though some linking is slightly mechanical.

7.0
LR

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for a map comparison ('inauguration', 'layout', 'amenities', 'accommodate'), but occasional word choice errors such as 'remobilised' and 'staged' reduce precision.

7.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The response uses a range of passive and coordinated structures, but the past tense with since then and some punctuation and phrasing need attention. These errors generally do not prevent the reader from understanding the comparisons.

7.0

What to work on next

Make the overview identify the main recreational changes and retained features, then use precise replacement and location language for the gardens, glasshouse and pond.

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Part 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words.

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