Sample response & feedback

Telling Children They Can Achieve Anything

Question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Annotated response

10 correction notes

Showing 10 correction notes.

In many societies, it is a common belief that children can accomplish anything through sheer determination and hard work. While this message can inspire positivity and drive, it also has its drawbacks. This essay will explore both the advantages and disadvantages of encouraging children to believe that perseverance leads to success.

One significant advantage of instilling the idea of limitless potential is that it fosters a growth mindset. When children are told they can achieve anything, they are more likely to embrace challenges and view failure as a learning opportunity. For example, a child who struggles with mathematics may persist and gradually improve, believing that with enough effort, they will succeed. Moreover, this message promotes resilience, which is crucial for overcoming setbacks. A student who is encouraged to keep trying after initial failures is more likely to develop perseverance, a trait that will benefit them in both academic and personal pursuits.

However, there are also notable disadvantages to this message. First, it may create unrealistic expectations and unnecessary pressure. If children are constantly told they can achieve anything, they might feel that any failure is a personal shortcoming. For instance, a child who struggles in a competitive sport may feel disheartened if they are unable to meet the standard set by others, despite their efforts. Additionally, this belief might overlook the importance of , such as natural ability or circumstances. A child with limited access to resources may find it harder to succeed, no matter , leading to feelings of inadequacy.

In conclusion, while the message of achieving anything through hard work can motivate children and encourage persistence, it can also impose unrealistic expectations and lead to disappointment. It is expected that parents and society will encourage children to work hard but not possess unrealistic expectations or put unnecessary pressure on the youngsters.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages with clear organisation and generally accurate, flexible language. Its examples illustrate persistence, pressure and unequal access to resources. Development could be sharper: the two advantages overlap, and the relationship between the promise of unlimited success and disappointment needs closer explanation. The final recommendation is relevant but phrased indirectly and ambiguously.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.0

The response addresses all parts of the question, presents a clear balanced position, and supports each main idea with relevant explanation and examples, though development is competent rather than fully extended.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas progress logically across clearly organised paragraphs with appropriate linking devices, although cohesion is at times somewhat mechanical and predictable.

LR Lexical Resource

7.0

Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible and precise, with good use of topic-related terms such as growth mindset, resilience, and unrealistic expectations, alongside only occasional awkward phrasing.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A range of complex structures, including conditionals and relative clauses, is used with good control, and errors are minor and do not impede understanding.