It is said that television has a great power to influence people's mind. To some extent, I do agree with this statement. The main con of television is that it has created the status system in our society. Today, companies are hiring celebrities for promoting their products. Advertising products in a glamorous way will create greed in the hearts of those people who can't afford that expensive product. For example, I have a friend who watches movies a lot. He was very much fascinated with the lifestyle which on television. He does not have enough money to live that lifestyle so he starts practising illegal ways of achieving that lifestyle. He . Today, people are frustrated and depressed for not being able to . Everyone is working hard to earn a lot of money for which they have to sacrifice their social and personal life. On the other hand, if we look at the positive aspect of this issue, we can observe that television is also a source of information. By watching informative channels, one can enhance his knowledge. One can improve his language by watching a particular language channel. For example, has improved his by watching English movies and dramas. Moreover, I have a friend who is very much fond of taking dowry. He stated that he will marry a girl only who will give him a lot of dowries but by watching different him that taking dowry is one of the most horrible things one can do, he started . All in all, everything has its own advantages and disadvantages. It totally depends on a person to what to learn from something. On the one hand, television is a source of knowledge for those people who want to learn something in their life and on the other hand television is the most horrible thing for those who want to remain uneducated for their entire life.
Television's Impact on Cultural Development
Television has had a significant influence on the culture of many societies. To what extent would you say that television has positively or negatively affected the cultural development of your society?
Annotated response
7 correction notes
Overall assessment
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses the question with a recognizable balanced position and supports both sides with personal examples, which is its strongest aspect. The main limitation is that some examples are loosely relevant or implausibly presented, and the ideas are developed unevenly with mechanical organization and repetitive language.
IELTS criteria
How each score was decided
Task Response
6.0The response addresses the question with a clear, though qualified, position covering both negative and positive effects, but main ideas such as the robbery and dowry examples are unevenly or implausibly developed, limiting the support.
Coherence and Cohesion
6.0Progression is broadly clear with an introduction, two-sided body, and conclusion, but cohesion is mechanical, relying on formulaic linkers like 'On the other hand' and 'All in all', and some ideas within paragraphs are loosely connected.
Lexical Resource
6.0Vocabulary is adequate for the task with some appropriate items such as 'glamorous', 'status system', and 'luxurious life', but range is limited by repetition of phrases like 'very much', 'lifestyle', and 'a friend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6.0A mix of simple and complex structures is used with some accurate subordinate clauses, but frequent errors such as 'which is nowadays showing on television', 'He started the robbery', and article misuse reduce overall accuracy.