Technology and the Gap Between Rich and Poor

Some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor people and rich people. Others think it is having an opposite effect. Discuss both of these points of view. What is your opinion on that issue?

Annotated response

15 correction notes

Showing 15 correction notes.

Today, modernization has revolutionised humans’ lifestyles fundamentally. Industrialisation has made our world a better place , although some individuals believe that this has been more useful to more affluent citizens. From my perspective, these advancements have led all humans to live better, even the deprived ones.

On the one hand, those who believe that by the development of technology, the rich have gained more have their own reasons. One is that has become more popular globally. The more luxury goods are produced by different companies, the more well-to-do citizens . For instance, in 2015, Apple, a well-known electronic corporation in the USA, a new version of Apple cell phone a watch with the price of over $20000. Therefore, this watch will be affordable to those having . In addition, in trading, richer countries have a better access to the latest technology of e-commerce, while the poor ones, higher expenditure avoids them to compete with the former and the globalisation has increased the gap between the developed and underdeveloped nations.

On the other hand, I personally agree with those believing that modernization has had more positive influences on both rich and poor people. One important impact is that all nations have . For example, even in remote areas of Africa, MRI is used for , and its technology can be compared to the one which is being used in the USA. In addition, travelling facilities have been altered dramatically. so fast, would have used low-cost airlines. In the past, only the rich could , but now even a simple worker and his family can afford the fee of a flight annually.

In conclusion, some may believe that , the more wealthy citizens have better living conditions. However, I personally agree that this can influence the level of medical services and travelling facilities, and the poor’s lifestyles have been and will be improved .

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response covers both viewpoints clearly, states a consistent personal position, and supports it with relevant examples such as medical imaging and budget airlines. Its strongest aspect is the logical two-sided structure, while the main limitation is recurring imprecise wording and grammatical errors that occasionally obscure meaning.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The essay addresses all parts of the task, discussing both views with a clear opinion and relevant examples, though some arguments, such as the luxury goods example, are developed unevenly.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas progress logically across clear paragraphs with appropriate linking devices, although some transitions and referencing are slightly mechanical at times.

Lexical Resource

6.0

There is a sufficient range of vocabulary for the topic, but several awkward or inaccurate expressions, such as 'gained more beneficiaries' and 'tremendous saving', reduce precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A mix of structures including conditionals and comparative forms is used, but frequent article, preposition, and agreement errors limit accuracy and occasionally obscure meaning.