Teachers vs Parents Influence on Child Development

Once children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Annotated response

1 correction note

Showing 1 correction note.

I definitely agree with the statement that once children get admission to school, teachers have more impact on them than even their parents. In the following paragraphs, I intend to put forth my arguments in support of my view.

To begin with, children spend quality time with teachers. Although they spend more time with parents time is not as productive as the small amount of time spent with teachers. We all know that parents are busy with their work most of the time and even if children are around, they hardly pay any attention to them. Teachers, on the other hand, are in school for the students. All the time they are either teaching the students or guiding them in extra-curricular activities . They keep children focussed on study and as a result have more intellectual impact on them.

What is more, teachers are role models for students. They are scholars in action. They not only influence intellectually but socially. Students inadvertently follow their teachers’ behavior too. They observe how the teacher walks, talks, and tackles difficult situations. At home, they have parents to guide them socially, but it is seen that in nuclear families, parents hardly find time for this. Whatever social skills children learn are from TV or other activities they do at home.

Teachers also guide students for their future careers. Students follow teachers more than parents because they feel that teachers are more aware of the world around them and they have a better capability of guiding them. So, they depend on teachers more than parents.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, once the schooling starts, teachers and parents both have influence but teachers influence children more.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response presents a clear, consistent position supported by three relevant main ideas, though the argument relies on assertion rather than deep development or evidence. Language is generally accurate with a range of structures, but some phrasing feels memorised and ideas occasionally lack elaboration.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The response addresses the task directly with a clear position maintained throughout, and each body paragraph presents a relevant main idea, though ideas are supported by general claims rather than fully developed or extended argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

The essay is logically organised with clear progression across paragraphs and a range of cohesive devices, although some linking is mechanical and the opening and closing are formulaic.

Lexical Resource

6.5

Vocabulary is adequate for the task with some precise usage such as 'role models' and 'extra-curricular activities', but reliance on memorised formulae and occasional imprecise choices limit flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A variety of sentence structures is used with generally good control, including complex and comparative forms, with only minor non-impeding errors such as article omissions.