Teachers vs Parents Influence on Child Development

Once children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Annotated response

3 correction notes

Showing 3 correction notes.

Both teachers and parents play a significant role in a child’s upbringing . In this essay, I will discuss why I disagree that teachers are a greater influence on the intelligence and social development of children than their parents.

The first few years of a child’s life are spent almost entirely in the company of their parental figures. These years are critical in the social development of a child, as they contain their first attempts to communicate with other people in order to receive the care and attention necessary for survival. Most school children start their education between the Therefore, they have already experienced a considerable amount of parental influence before teachers are even introduced to them.

Other significant factors in the intelligence and social development of a child are the socioeconomic circumstances that they are brought up in. The quality of a child’s social life, schooling and health are all socioeconomic factors that heavily influence a child. These factors are a direct consequence of the circumstances brought about by the child’s parents. Better teachers will endow a child with greater intelligence and better teachers are, on average, found at better schools. The attendance of a child at a good school is usually the consequence of a decision made by their parents.

I believe that parents are a far greater influence on the intelligence and social development of children than teachers because, firstly, the early developmental years of a child’s life are almost entirely influenced by the company of their parents and, secondly, because the socioeconomic factors of a child’s life are usually a direct consequence of the

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response presents a clear, consistently maintained position with logical progression from early childhood influence to socioeconomic arguments, and generally accurate, flexible language. Its main limitation is that development is somewhat compact, with the second argument relying on inference rather than fully elaborated support.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The response addresses all parts of the task with a clear and consistent disagreement, developing two relevant main ideas, though support for the socioeconomic argument remains somewhat briefly elaborated.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas progress logically across clearly organised paragraphs with effective use of cohesive devices and a conclusion that restates the position without mechanical repetition.

Lexical Resource

7.0

Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible and precise for the topic, with some natural collocation, though occasional imprecision such as 'effect' for 'affect' and mild repetition of 'influence' appear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A good range of sentence structures, including complex forms, is used with flexibility and generally good control; minor errors exist but do not impede communication.