Sample response & feedback

Sharing Information in Research and Business

Question

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Annotated response

17 correction notes

Showing 17 correction notes.

In this modern era, restricting information for the sake of public security and national importance seems irrational to many while others opine that information should be available only when the authority for access. Both views will be examined in this essay. I personally believe that scientific studies, the academic arena, and businesses can greatly benefit if the information is made open to them without restrictions.

The proponents of restricting sensitive information believe that unrestricted access to information could , lead to public outcry, hand over technologies to terrorists, and facilitate corporate monopoly. So information has to be properly scrutinized before making it public. In this digital era, information spreads like wildfire and for the sake of maintaining global peace, , according to this group of people. For instance, if nuclear technology is shared with all nations for scientific studies, the world will soon stand on the verge of obliteration, despite the incredible possibility this technology possesses to .

, those who advocate for unobstructed access to information say that scientific research largely depends on available data and previous findings. If valuable information and past findings are not shared openly with academics and researchers, global progress . For instance, the Internet is probably the most significant invention the modern world has produced and if this technology had not been shared by the US military, we would still be living in the pre-internet era. Moreover, has no value if it is not implemented in the real world and thus is like . World history suggests that the human race has advanced due to discoveries and inventions shared with the world as each finding went through profound modification and advancement. I thus personally favour the ideology that supports "free information for all".

In conclusion, information has limited value when it is constrained and not shared with great minds. For true global progress, restrictions on valuable information should be debarred and let people know the truth instead of keeping them in the dark.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response presents both views in a clear structure and states a consistent preference for open access. Nuclear technology and the Internet provide relevant examples, but several predictions are stronger than their support, and the final position does not resolve the security objection. Ambitious vocabulary sometimes becomes imprecise, while pronoun agreement and the final sentence structure also need attention.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.0

Both views and a clear personal position are presented, with relevant examples involving nuclear technology and the Internet. Some claims are overstated or underexplained, and the preference for unrestricted access does not resolve the security risk raised earlier.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas are logically organised across clear paragraphs with generally effective cohesive devices, though some linking is slightly mechanical or formulaic.

LR Lexical Resource

7.0

A wide vocabulary is demonstrated with attempts at less common expressions, but some collocations are imprecise or unnatural, such as 'penetrate state security' and 'restrictions should be debarred'.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A good range of complex structures is used with flexibility, and most sentences are error-free, with only minor slips that do not impede understanding.