Salary as the Main Factor When Choosing a Job

  • Income and salaries
  • Job satisfaction

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

7 correction notes

In today's expensive world, needs of the people are growing day by day. To fulfil all their desires, money is an important factor. Therefore, to some people, salary is the first thing to look at when choosing a job. To an extent, this can be considered cannot totally rely on the amount of money I am being paid for my work. There are various other factors to be seen when looking for a job. Some of them are discussed in the below paragraphs. People enjoy their jobs when they are doing the work that they wanted. Hence, personal satisfaction is the factor that matters. a doctor works in a high profile hospital of a city, where he gets a , but does not enjoy his work because he is not getting to experience different types of patients and cannot experiment with his skills as he would be doing if he were in a rural area. Then what is the use of having a high salary? His skills are being restricted. Job satisfaction is, therefore, important for the person to in the field. factor to see is the ambience of the workplace. The colleagues, with whom he is going to work and the employer should be cooperative, understanding, friendly and make up a good team so that it is easy for the person to work with and feels comfortable and relaxed. Finally, comes the reputation of the company or a workplace. Good rapport in the market and with the customers is necessary to achieve success in future; otherwise, the growth will be hampered. To sum up, the aforementioned factors should be kept in mind when choosing a job. According to me, salary matters, but it is not that should be looked for.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response considers several relevant job factors and illustrates satisfaction with a doctor example. However, the argument is presented in one continuous paragraph, and the conclusion does not clearly distinguish salary being the most important factor from being the only factor. Uneven development and incomplete or awkward sentences further limit the response.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.5

The essay presents relevant alternatives to salary and develops a doctor example, though support for workplace atmosphere and reputation is shorter. Its qualified disagreement is understandable, but the conclusion says salary is not the only factor without clearly settling whether it is the most important one.

Coherence and Cohesion

5.5

Linking phrases make the sequence of factors recognisable, but the source is one continuous paragraph despite referring to paragraphs. The introduction, separate reasons and conclusion need visible paragraph boundaries, and the detached conditional example interrupts the flow.

Lexical Resource

6.5

Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, including 'personal satisfaction' and 'ambience of the workplace'. However, 'handsome amount of salary' is awkward, 'off course' is a spelling error here, and several phrases about colleagues and workplace reputation lack precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5

A range of structures is attempted, but the doctor example leaves an if-clause detached from its main clause. Intrusive commas after but and Second, together with the malformed sentence about colleagues, reduce grammatical control even though the main message remains understandable.

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