Global Business and Cultural Contact vs National Identity

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Annotated response

7 correction notes

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In this era of globalisation, the world is considered a global village as trade, tourism, politics, films, music, literature and arts are not restricted within a country’s border. Some believe such international business opportunities and cultural exchange offer many positive results while others point out its detrimental effect on national identity and tradition. This essay delves into both views and expresses an opinion that it is a highly beneficial trend.

On the one hand, according to some, the positive outcome of cross-cultural activities and international trade are immense. According to them, international trade and business opportunities have helped consumers all over the world at a competitive price and enjoy far more options nowadays than in the past. For instance, crops grown in a distant country or dresses designed by have reached the global market, and this has helped fight the most vicious . Moreover, cultural exchange and tourism have created mutual understanding among people of hostile countries by bringing them together. For instance, Western countries have had a negative impression of the people of some Middle Eastern countries. But through cultural contact and tourism, many of them have realised that they are essentially the same in terms of their joy, liking, disliking and suffering. So in this regard, it can be inferred that cultural contact between nations can promote global peace and harmony.

On the other hand, people who are worried about globalisation, international trade and cultural exchanges opine that this very trend is detrimental to a country’s own culture and tradition. They point out that when dominating countries have open trade and cultural contact with a , it may cause the to lose its cultural and traditional aspects. A case in point here is some Asian countries that went through rapid development and westernization but have lost their unique traditions and cultural aspects in the process.

Considering both of these views, I would surmise that protecting our own culture or tradition would depend on us and it would not be harmed by our business relations and cultural contact with other nations. National identities are and heritage and that is why when citizens of a country would be benefitted from international business and cross-cultural contacts, they would also be able to highlight their own cultural aspect to the world.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response is strong in its thorough coverage of both views, a clearly stated opinion, and generally flexible language with relevant examples. The main limitation is a scattering of grammatical slips and occasional imprecise word choices that slightly reduce polish without obstructing meaning.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.5

The response addresses both views fully, presents a clear personal position in the introduction and conclusion, and supports each side with developed and relevant examples such as trade reducing poverty and westernisation eroding traditions.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas are organised into logical paragraphs with clear progression and a range of cohesive devices, though linking is at times mechanical and phrases such as 'according to them' are repeated.

Lexical Resource

7.0

Vocabulary is sufficiently wide and mostly precise for flexible discussion of globalisation and identity, with occasional awkward collocations and slips such as 'minor country' and 'small county'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5

A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, but frequent minor errors in agreement, article use, and phrasing, such as 'the positive outcome ... are immense', slightly reduce accuracy.