Global Business and Cultural Contact vs National Identity

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Annotated response

7 correction notes

Showing 7 correction notes.

People have different views about the impacts of globalization. Although this development could exert positive influences on , the preservation of national identities would be .

On the one hand, it is argued by many that cross-border economic and cultural cooperation could be the of national growth. Firstly, increased international trade could create conditions for competitive advantages and boosting their export earnings. The benefit is best shown through robust economic development of net exporters like X country. With the elimination of economic barriers between countries, X country, a hub of agricultural products, has earned a huge flow of foreign exchange by emerging as the second largest rice exporter worldwide. Improvement in people’s spiritual lives would also accompany. Besides that, borderless cultural contact means that people have chances to get exposed to foreign cultures, whose diversity could enable them to enrich their knowledge and have more choices of entertainment. The popularity of Korean and US – UK music products in Y country could exemplify this point.

On the other hand, I am more of the belief that the uniqueness of individual countries could be under threat as a consequence of growing international cooperation. Multinational corporations could put them in a position to influence local cultural values and promote Western ones in . This is because these Western ideologies could be easily assimilated into local cultures when Western-standard products are marketed and consumers familiarize themselves with new lifestyles these goods create. This might, in the long run, result in a homogeneous set of beliefs and values adopted and the erosion of cultural diversity worldwide.

In conclusion, it is irrefutable that globalization has backed economic and social developments in many countries. However, the danger of losing national identities is also obvious. To avoid such a consequence, I believe that nations need to take actions to preserve their cultural identity through proper education and bolstered social cohesion.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response's strongest aspect is its well-structured argument, which discusses both views with concrete supporting examples and reaches a clear personal position with a practical recommendation. The main limitation is occasional unnatural word choice and formulaic phrasing, which slightly reduce precision despite generally accurate grammar.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The response addresses both views clearly, supports each with relevant development and examples, and presents a consistent personal opinion with a concluding recommendation.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas progress logically across well-managed paragraphs with effective referencing and linking devices, though some transitions such as 'Besides that' are slightly mechanical.

Lexical Resource

7.0

A sufficient range of topic-appropriate vocabulary is demonstrated, with some flexible phrasing, but occasional unnatural collocations affect precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A variety of complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and passive forms, is used with generally good control, with only minor non-impeding errors.