It is perceived by most countries that by developing their economy, could be improved, but there are those who believe that economic growth could result in loss of social values. It is certainly true that countries with developed economies have improved their people's lives because of their advanced standard of public services such as health and education. Improved health care can improve the quality of life through treating diseases and increasing people's life expectancy. Also, can give the population . This enables greater opportunity and freedom. In my knowledge, I have learned that education is seen as an important development of welfare and happiness. However, while we can obviously see the benefits of a developed economy, there are other people who perceive that this could lead to . It means that with higher economic growth, this may result in longer hours of work. Then working parents would not have enough quality time to spend with their children. Hence, children will tend to emulate and eventually , for instance, the unguided young teenagers, mainly African and Caribbean Americans in New York City in the 20th century. In conclusion, I certainly believe that through developing national economy, it will give people a better quality of life. Although it could affect families negatively, this would be compared to the many benefits it could give to its society in terms of health and educational services.
Sample response & feedback
Economic Development Versus Loss of Social Values
Question
Most countries want to improve the standard of living through economic development, however, others think the social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Annotated response
14 correction notes
Overall assessment
Why this response received Band 6.0
The strongest aspect is the clear, consistently maintained position that economic benefits outweigh social costs, supported by relevant health and education arguments. The main limitation is uneven development and imprecise language, including a poorly integrated example, which prevents the response from reaching a higher level of sophistication.
IELTS criteria
How each score was decided
TR Task Response
6.5The response addresses the question with a clear position and relevant main ideas on health and education, but development is somewhat thin and the delinquency example is tangential and weakly explained.
CC Coherence and Cohesion
5.5The ideas follow a broadly logical order, but the entire essay is one paragraph, so the introduction, opposing arguments and conclusion are not visually separated. Linking is sometimes mechanical, and the historical example is weakly connected to the argument.
LR Lexical Resource
6.0Vocabulary is adequate for the task with some appropriate collocations, but there are noticeable inaccuracies such as 'losing of social values' and 'in my knowledge' alongside limited precision.
GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6.0A mix of simple and complex structures conveys generally clear meaning, but errors such as “involve to an antisocial activity”, “losing of social values” and the unclear “through developing national economy, it” construction reduce accuracy.