Sample response & feedback

Economic Development Versus Loss of Social Values

Question

Most countries want to improve the standard of living through economic development, however, others think the social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Annotated response

20 correction notes

Showing 20 correction notes.

Economic development is essential for any country because the economic condition of a country will . is directly linked to . If any country wants to provide a better living standard to the citizens and wants to provide essential needs of living (i.e. food, clothes and shelter) to every citizen, a country should be capable and have strong economic development.

If economic development is up to the mark, the living standards would be improved automatically. Through stable economic conditions job opportunities will be created, circulation of money in the market will take place in a suitable manner. I think if any country the standard of living through economic development, citizens of that country will have to work hard and have to spend most of their time and as a result, . Because economic stability comes in result of impressive hard work and one should sacrifice something in order to earn another thing.

I personally believe that economic development is the best and most appropriate option for good living standards and the advantages of that development the disadvantages. Economically developed nations do not suffer from social moral and social bonding. Rather, it is deteriorating in countries where economic development is yet to achieve.

In conclusion, economic development is the most important part of a nation’s progress and degrade the social values.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response presents a clear position that economic development's advantages outweigh the disadvantages and stays on topic throughout, which is its strongest aspect. However, ideas are underdeveloped and somewhat repetitive, with the claimed contrast between developed and developing nations asserted rather than explained, and language control is only adequate.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

6.0

The question is addressed with a relevant clear position that advantages outweigh disadvantages, but supporting ideas are unevenly developed and the argument about social values in developed versus developing nations is asserted without convincing elaboration.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs with a conclusion, but cohesion is often mechanical and progression within paragraphs is weakened by repetition rather than clear linkage of ideas.

LR Lexical Resource

6.0

Vocabulary is adequate for the topic but noticeably repetitive, relying heavily on phrases like economic development, living standards, and social value, with limited precision in expressions such as do not suffer from social moral.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is attempted, but there are recurring grammatical errors, including the social life will cut off and comes in result of, which are mostly non-impeding yet frequent enough to limit the score.