Sample response & feedback

Do Hobbies Need to Be Difficult to Be Enjoyable

Question

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

12 correction notes

Showing 12 correction notes.

A group of people think that enjoyable hobbies are activities that are considered as difficult and challenging. Although some people agree with the statement, but I personally disagree with it, since everyone has his own interest.

On the one hand, several people believe that enjoyable hobbies need to be difficult and complicated. Sophisticated and challenging hobbies such as mountain climbing, bungee jumping or water rafting are considered as high risk and . To conquer those hobbies, people need to be in a healthy condition and require them to master some sophisticated techniques. And , they would be satisfied with the . As for simple hobbies such as walking or reading, they believe that these activities are less challenging and boring, since everybody could do those activities, and they do not require any kind of .

On the other hand, it is undeniable that people have . For certain people, easy hobbies such as stamp collecting or jogging might be considered as boring, but others feel that these activities are fun and satisfying. Some people are their unique and diverse stamp collection, while others enjoy walking as it helps them in maintaining their health. Therefore, people could not rank different hobbies based on the difficulty level of the activity.

In conclusion, it is true that some hobbies are difficult but others are easy, and everyone has different hobbies. I personally feel that hobbies do not need to be difficult to be enjoyable but they should be in accordance with a person's interest.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response presents a clear position and covers both sides of the argument with relevant examples, showing its main strength in task coverage. The main limitation is a somewhat formulaic structure with occasional mechanical linking and wordiness that reduces the polish of the argument.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.0

The response addresses all parts of the task with a clear, consistent position, develops main ideas on both sides, and supports them with relevant examples such as extreme sports and stamp collecting.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

6.5

Ideas are organised logically into a concession, the writer’s response and a conclusion. However, the move from varied preferences to the claim that hobbies cannot be ranked by difficulty is not fully explained, and the conclusion initially repeats background information rather than synthesising the reasons.

LR Lexical Resource

7.0

Topic vocabulary such as accomplishment, expertise and adrenalin conveys the main ideas, but expressions such as trigger the adrenalin and conquer those hobbies are awkward. Breathtaking is also used where the intended requirement needs a noun, and accomplishment and achievement repeat much the same meaning.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A range of complex structures is used and the meaning remains clear. Errors include although combined with but, singular countable nouns in people have different interest, passion and hobby, and the faulty coordination people need ... and require them to master.