Once in a while, we have to have enjoyment through things we always like to do to escape from our stressful work, so we do have a certain hobby. However, these habitual things should not be extreme for us to enjoy, because as long as we love what we do and we can afford it, then we will get the pleasure we want to. For one, as long as we have what we like to do regularly, we can achieve enjoyment. For instance, my hobby is reading fiction and nonfiction books such as by J.K. Rowling and the Pretty Little Liars series by Sara Shepard. I really love to read since I was in my preschool age and I do this every weekend or I am not busy at work in the hospital. This is not a very difficult thing to do because I am just sitting on a couch or in my bed while doing this, but I always get the pleasure . In addition to this, these books are affordable so it more added to our indulgence. For example, there are in Burnham Bookwormers bookstore that is located in Baguio City, Philippines, in which we can purchase a second-hand book for only 10 to 20 pesos, . So it is very cheap. Whereas when we extremely hard hobbies , cycling down a cliff or feeding a shark , then we need to have a lot of money to be able to do such things, and we cannot enjoy these if we always these dangerous hobbies. In conclusion, it is always pleasurable to do activities of our great interest and at the same time economical. It does not need to be hard and risky like some would want it to have fun. So I highly recommend enjoying what you like doing as long as you can manage it economically.
Sample response & feedback
Do Hobbies Need to Be Difficult to Be Enjoyable
Question
Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Annotated response
21 correction notes
Overall assessment
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly disagrees that hobbies must be difficult and supports its view with an extended reading example. The main ideas are understandable, but the essay remains one continuous paragraph and often treats difficulty, danger and expense as interchangeable. Frequent tense, preposition and sentence-construction problems also reduce precision. Separating the argument into paragraphs and explaining how enjoyment can arise without difficulty would make the response more focused.
IELTS criteria
How each score was decided
TR Task Response
6.0The essay addresses the question with a clear position against hobbies needing to be difficult, supported by developed personal examples, though the support is anecdotal and somewhat narrow in perspective.
CC Coherence and Cohesion
6.0The sequence of ideas is broadly clear, but the essay is presented as one continuous paragraph. Repeated linkers and the long extreme-hobbies comparison make its organisation harder to follow.
LR Lexical Resource
6.0Vocabulary is adequate for the message with some topic-appropriate items, but it is often informal and includes inaccurate collocations such as 'fondness of' and 'engage to extremely hard hobbies'.
GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6.0A mix of simple and complex sentences is attempted, yet errors in agreement, tense, and sentence construction occur frequently without seriously impeding meaning.