Whether Women Make Better Parents Than Men

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.

Annotated response

7 correction notes

Showing 7 correction notes.

Raising children is definitely a very challenging task . Children need great care and support as well as enough time to be devoted to them daily to educate them with good manners. this is the female role. In other societies, however, it may be the father who has taken over this task or both parents contribute equally.

In the majority of the societies since men do the outdoor tasks and are employed, spend most of their time at home and part of their task is raising the children. Being available all the time is necessary for parenting. A father who is working outside all day is probably not very suitable for this.

On top of this, women tend to be more affectionate and caring by nature than men. A parent needs to be kind, and patient especially during early childhood, periods of sickness and so on.

children feel more comfortable and close to their mothers. Often, children go to their mother when there is any problem arising or for help. This is most probably because the very first person that an infant sees is the mother. All the breastfeeding and cuddling leads to the development of affection and love between the mother and the infant, and this is seen to persist all the way to adulthood. Hence, children prefer their mother

In conclusion, I believe that women make better parents than men, because of their inherent nature and the love and affection they have for children.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response presents a clear position with relevant supporting points and a logical paragraph structure, which is its strongest feature. Its main limitation is that the ideas remain general and underdeveloped, relying on broad generalisations rather than extended explanation or concrete examples.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.5

The essay addresses the question with a clear, consistently maintained position and relevant main ideas, but these are supported only in general terms with limited depth or development.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5

Ideas are organised into logical paragraphs with clear progression, though cohesion depends on basic connectives and some links between sentences are loosely handled.

Lexical Resource

6.0

Vocabulary is adequate for the argument, with relevant words such as 'affectionate' and 'cuddling'. Expressions including 'educate them with good manners' and 'prefer their mother to be parenting them' are awkward. The source already includes both 'passionate' and 'patient'; they are not a mistaken substitution for each other.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5

A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is used with reasonable accuracy, but frequent minor errors and a tendency toward basic structures reduce overall flexibility.