Whether Women Make Better Parents Than Men

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.

Annotated response

12 correction notes

Showing 12 correction notes.

Mother and father both play a crucial role in the upbringing of children. Some people assert that women triumph over men to make better parents. , others claim that men are as good as women in parenting. This is very perplexing for anyone to choose one. , women make better parents.

In support of my point of view, a mother is one of the first persons who gets attached to the child . A child spends most of his time, his childhood with the mother. So a child is more influenced by the mother. Secondly, a mother is the only person who takes all sorts of care of the child, like- feeding, bathing etc. Thus, mother occupies most of the child's time. This makes a strong bond between them. When a child becomes a little older and , a mother takes care of that , homework, assignment, projects etc. By this, a mother plays a crucial role in a child's education. In addition, a child learns moral values which are from the mother.

In our society, usually we find that women spend most of the time at home and men are only breadwinners. In this type of situation, the person who can spend a chunk of the time for the nourishment of a child is a woman. Thus, women can keep her eyes on every small activity of children. Apart from that, owing to closer relationship and problems with the mother first. Thus, mother knows her child better than anyone.

On the flip side, to maintain the status of men, they argue that men are as good as women. In spite of spending less time with the child for his child. A father financially secure. As financial security is as important as building child's personality.

To conclude, both women and men are equally important. But in our society women are superior to men in better parenting as they .

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response takes a clear position and organises the essay into conventional paragraphs, which is its strongest aspect. The main limitation is thin, repetitive argumentation that relies on generalisation rather than developed reasoning, alongside recurring grammatical slips and awkward word choices.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.0

The essay presents a relevant clear position and covers both views, but ideas are unevenly developed, somewhat repetitive, and supported by generalisation rather than extended reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

Paragraphing is logical and cohesive devices are used throughout, though linking is at times mechanical or inaccurate, as in 'In contrary to this' and 'Thus, mother occupies most of the child's time'.

Lexical Resource

6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, but imprecise collocations such as 'women triumph over men', 'main ingredients', and 'keeps her eyes on' reduce precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, and phrasing occur without obscuring the overall message.