Whether Women Make Better Parents Than Men

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.

Annotated response

11 correction notes

Showing 11 correction notes.

Many people believe women make better parents than men . , women have a great role in raising children in many societies and some other people claim men women. The issue whether or not women make better parents than men is always a . Strong arguments are there from both the sides and let us discuss in a detailed way.

Firstly, children are always attached to the mother and feel free to reach out for anything. An instance illustrating this in action is almost all of my friends are attached to my mother rather than my father. It is obvious from this that mother has a greater role in . In addition to this, Mother is a good role model for their children and children always try to follow them and naturally a mother can become a better parent than the father. For example, every child the mother first. better parents than men.

There is always another side of the coin. Currently, both men and women are working in all families and children are attached equally. For example, are attached equally to both father and mother. This clearly shows that men also make better parents. In addition to that, men started sharing the responsibility of children and children also slowly reaching to father also. So it has proven than men also better parents than women.

Thus it is recommended that and their children. It is better to share the responsibilities as much as sharing love.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the parenting question and reaches a reasonable shared-responsibility conclusion, which is its strongest aspect. The main limitation is uneven development, with weakly supported personal examples and some contradictory claims that blur the writer's position.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.0

The essay addresses both views and offers a clear conclusion favouring shared parenting, but ideas are unevenly developed and some claims, such as fathers' equal attachment proving men make better parents, are poorly reasoned.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

Progression is broadly clear with simple linking devices and paragraphing, but cohesion is mechanical and formulaic, with logical connections between ideas sometimes weak or contradictory.

Lexical Resource

6.0

Vocabulary is adequate for the task with some attempts at less common phrasing, though there are noticeable imprecisions such as 'children brought up' and 'make good parents than women'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5

A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent grammatical errors in agreement, articles, and comparables, such as 'children also slowly reaching to father', reduce overall accuracy and control.