Shop Closures and Openings 2011-2018

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Cambridge IELTS 17 Academic Test 4 Writing Task 1 visual

Annotated response

15 correction notes

Showing 15 correction notes.

The graph illustrates the data of one country , and the number of new shops that opened. It is clear that the shop closures nose-dived in the year 2015 while the shop openings .

8,000 shops opened but a significant decline was observed in the following year. After that Meanwhile, the was slightly above 6000 in 2011, which rose to more than 7000 in the year 2013.

About 4000 shops opened in 2015, which and finally 3000 shops opened in the year 2018. On the other hand, the number of shops that shut down to below 1000 in in the as it went over 5000 in 2018.

the number of shops opened did affect the number of shops that opened and coincided in the year 2014, However, it became independent of each other in the years that followed.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response covers the main trends and uses some apt vocabulary for change, which is its strongest aspect. However, data reporting is uneven, the conclusion makes a confusing and partly inaccurate claim about the two lines, and grammatical slips such as tense shifts and comma splices recur throughout.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Achievement

6.0

Key features, including the sharp 2015 drop in closures and the overall decline in openings, are identified with a workable overview, but several values and periods are imprecise or omitted, such as the closure recovery to about 5,200 already by 2016, and the conclusion misstates how the lines related.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

Information is arranged in a generally logical sequence with appropriate linking devices, yet progression is at times mechanical and muddled, particularly the inconsistent description of the openings trend and the confusing final paragraph.

Lexical Resource

6.5

A sufficient range of topic-related vocabulary is demonstrated, including nose-dived, plummeted, and dipped, though some word choices are imprecise, such as describing openings as a gradual decline despite fluctuation, and phrases like the data of are awkward.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A mix of structures is attempted but marred by recurring errors, including tense inconsistency between past and present, comma splices, capitalisation slips, and faulty constructions such as there is steady increase.