1960年至2020年美国四大经济部门的就业

US Jobs in Four Economic Sectors 1960-2020

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

下图提供了1960年至2020年美国经济四个部门的就业岗位数量信息。

请选择并报告主要特征来概括信息,并在相关之处进行比较。

来自本题范文

要点:1960年至2020年美国四大经济部门的就业

为什么这是折线图 ,要求你描述随时间变化的主要趋势和变化。

所以我们把要点分为概述(整个时期的主要趋势)和要点(值得描述的数据和对比)。

概述

4个要点

要点

6个要点

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范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 157词 · 4段 · 23条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数5.0/ 9

总体评价

The response identifies the main trends and attempts to group sectors by direction, which is its strongest aspect. However, it contains several inaccurate figures, such as agriculture and healthcare both being reported at 0.3 million, and frequent spelling and grammar errors that obscure meaning at times. The progression is partly clear but relies on mechanical linking devices.

TA

任务完成情况

An overview of contrasting trends is present and the response covers all four sectors, but key figures are inaccurately reported, including agriculture falling to about 3 million and healthcare rising from about 2 million being misstated as 0.3 million.

5.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Progression is broadly followable and the sectors are grouped by trend, but linking is mechanical, with repeated sequencing markers such as 'Following that', 'Finally' and 'Lastly'. The malformed opening 'As can be seen that' also disrupts the flow.

5.0
LR

词汇丰富度

Vocabulary is adequate for the data but limited and at times inaccurate, with errors such as percentage of works, steps of the economy, and repeated misspellings like economny and Respectivily.

5.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

Sentence structures are attempted but errors are frequent, including missing articles, incorrect verb forms such as was droped, inconsistent capitalisation, and faulty number agreement.

5.0

下一步改进重点

Verify all reported figures against the chart, since several values do not match the visual data, and proofread spelling and grammar before finalising.

来自本题范文

实用词汇:1960年至2020年美国四大经济部门的就业

来自本题范文

句型:1960年至2020年美国四大经济部门的就业

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